


Mother's Intuition

by JWade



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-06 07:51:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 29,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12206967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JWade/pseuds/JWade
Summary: When Gabriel pops up to find out how they managed to let Lucifer out again and finds that Sam has been kidnapped by the British Men of Letters, he just has to help get him back. Mary sees right through him though.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts during Episode 1 of Season 12.

As Mary was marveling at what a computer was like in this strange future, and trying to figure out what was meant by ‘hacking’ and ‘traffic cams’, Dean and Cas were continuing their conversation. “You think it’s them?” Cas asked hopefully. 

“It’s worth a shot,” Dean said with a nod. 

That’s when all hell broke loose once more as there was suddenly someone else in the room. “And which of you absolute morons can tell me how Luci got out of his cage?” a rather annoyed voice drawled. 

Mary immediately raised her gun at the intruder, but faltered at Dean’s words. “Gabriel! What are you…How…you know what. We don’t have time for your crap right now.”

“Well you’re just gonna have to make time Buckos. And get Sammykins in here too, since I’m sure he was a part of it,” Gabriel said narrowing his eyes at the hunters. After he had sacrificed his own life to keep Lucifer trapped the first time, they went and let him out again? Oh, he was pissed.

“That’s why we don’t have time for your crap. Sammy’s been kidnapped and is probably being tortured as we speak, so whatever games you have in store for us today are gonna have to wait,” Dean said firmly as he grabbed his keys and turned to go towards the garage to head out. 

Mary was still frozen in place in shock. “Gabriel? The archangel?” 

Gabriel seemed to notice her standing there for the first time and his eyebrows rose. “Well well well. If it isn’t Momma Winchester. I must say this is a surprise.”

“Enough, Gabriel,” Dean snapped. “Come on, Mom.” 

“Wait. Dean,” Cas said suddenly looking appraisingly at Gabriel. Dean stopped and looked back at Cas as the angel asked his brother, “Can you help us find Sam?” 

Gabriel let out a heavy sigh. Like he could say no. If nothing else he wanted to wring the kids neck himself, and he couldn’t do that if something killed him in the meantime. Not that he would ever go so far as to kill the hunter, of course. “Depends. What took him?” 

“A human. We have a license plate of the car they were driving and were just about to go try and track it down,” Dean told him. 

“A human?” Gabriel asked incredulously. “All the crap you boys have pissed off and it was a simple human that got him?” he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“This isn’t funny, Gabriel!” Dean shouted. “You see all this blood here?” he pointed at the floor. “That’s Sam’s and it’s from the bitch that took him. You see that angel banishing sigil over there? Obviously, she knows her stuff. If you won’t help then get the hell out of the way and let us go find him.”

Gabriel nearly felt his heart stop at the amount of blood smeared on the floor and now knowing it was Sam’s. He didn’t let his face betray him though as he said, “Take a chill pill, Deano. I’ll help. Unfortunately, you’ve still got your fancy little rib art so I can’t just go get him, but there are always other ways.”

“What do you need?” Mary made her first foray into the conversation. She saw how his easygoing demeanor had changed at the evidence that Sam was hurt and knew that he would help. 

“Does he think of this place as home?” Gabriel asked Dean. 

“What the hell kind of question is that?” Dean asked annoyed that he was wasting time. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes at the cluelessness of the hunter. “This whole big supernatural library and you’re still a moron? There is a spell, if done in the place the person calls home and with some of their blood to anchor it, will tell you where they are,” he explained as if to a toddler. 

Dean glared at him for the attitude, but answered the question. “Yes, he thinks of this place as home.”

“Excellent,” Gabriel said clapping his hands together. “Deano, show me to his bedroom, Cassie and Momma Winchester, head to the storeroom and get me some Camphor, Hyacinth, Jasmine, Lotus, Mesquite, Myrrh, Sandalwood, Tamarisk, and Thyme. All preserved plant please. No extracts or oils. Chop chop!” 

“This is Sam’s room,” Dean told him, looking at him sideways wondering why he was being so helpful all of a sudden.

“Perfect. Now go scrape up some of that blood and bring me a brass bowl and a lighter,” Gabriel told him, as he walked around getting a feel for the room. Within five minutes everyone was back with everything he needed, and he started measuring and arranging ingredients. 

“Archangels do spells?” Mary couldn’t help asking confusedly as he got everything organized. 

“Whatever gets the job done,” Gabriel said with a shrug. “Spells are just one of many things I’ve picked up over the millennia that I’ve been here on earth.” It took a few minutes but then everything was organized and he turned to Dean. “I’m gonna need some of your blood too Deano. Your blood will call to his.”

“I could…” Mary started to offer before she was cut off by Gabriel. 

“No offense, Momma Winchester, but until I figure out exactly how you came back, it’s not worth the risk, and I’m guessing that’s a story we don’t have time for now.” Dean went over and pulled the dagger across his palm and let the blood drip into the bowl when Gabriel motioned for it and threw a few ingredients in after it, chanted a bit, a few more ingredients, another bit of chant, then Sam’s blood and one final chant and the interactive map that Gabriel snapped up zoomed in on a small house in Aldritch, Missouri. “Got it. Be back momentarily,” Gabriel said as he disappeared. 

 

Gabriel arrived in the basement, where he could now sense Sam given the close proximity, just in time to hear a woman say, “So…we stop trying to break his body. We break his mind.”

“I don’t think so, doll,” he drawled as he stepped between Sam and the psycho bitches. 

“What are you? How did you get in here? We’re warded…”

“Trust me princess. You don’t have wards strong enough to hold me,” he said with a sneer. 

“Archangel…” she hissed, knowing that’s the only thing she couldn’t ward against. Well, that and god, but the chances of that were slim to none. “Lucifer I presume?” she asked as she tried to draw an banishing sigil on the wall behind her. She wasn’t sure if it would work on an archangel either, but it was the only play she had. 

“Guess again,” Gabriel said before waving a hand and both of them were stuck on a different wall and held completely immobile. Once that was handled he turned to Sam and his eyes softened. He knew that the hunter had likely been through worse in hell, but Gabriel could tell that he was nearly to the end of human endurance. He reached out a hand and the glow healed the hunter completely which snapped him awake. 

“Gabriel,” he breathed out in awe. “How…”

“That’s a story for another time kiddo. What say we blow this joint hmm?” Sam just nodded profusely and they both disappeared from the basement as the two women of letters fell to the floor in shock. Why would the archangel Gabriel want to help the agent of Lucifer? Were they in it together somehow?

Sam and Gabriel reappeared in the entrance hall of the bunker and Gabriel chirped, “Guess who’s home?” loud enough to carry through all the main areas on this floor, not sure where the others were waiting. 

It wasn’t long before he heard footsteps running through the area and Dean pulled Sam into a tight hug, Cas joining them. Mary hung back a bit like she wasn’t sure where she belonged, and not wanting to overwhelm Sam before he even realized she was back. Sam noticed her after a moment and gasped, “Mom?” As soon as that thought entered his mind his face turned hard and he pushed Dean and Cas away and rounded on Gabriel. “This isn’t funny, Gabriel. Just take me to my real home already.”

Gabriel held his hand up in surrender as he couldn’t help the chuckle that pulled from him. “Don’t look at me kiddo. This isn’t my doing. I didn’t get the whole story yet either.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “So the fact that two of the three people here to meet me are dead is just a happy coincidence?” 

“It’s a long story, Sammy,” Dean told him and Sam turned a glare on him instead making it clear he better start explaining now. 

“Ok, so long story short, I went after Amara with the soul bomb, but turned out all she wanted was her brother back, so Chuck showed up and they made nice, saved me, went on a nice family vacation, and Amara gave me Mom back as a gift. We got back here, found out you were missing. Were just about to head after you, when wingbrain here shows up and agrees to help.”

Sam just blinked at his brother for a moment as he tried to process that information. It spoke a lot to the insane crap that they’ve had to deal with over the years that it only took a moment before he turned to the other supposedly dead person in the room. “Okay. So, how are you alive? Chuck said you were gone?”

“Did he actually say I was dead?” Gabriel asked. 

“Well…he said that it was outside of his power to bring you back and there wasn’t time to rebuild you,” Sam said trying to remember the exact words.

Gabriel just scoffed. “Figures. In other words, he thought that I would be difficult and didn’t want to deal with me. Typical Dad.”

“What about that thing about rebuilding you?” Dean asked confused. 

“Knowing him, he probably meant something like rebuilding my mind to serve him unconditionally again.”

“So, you’ve been alive all this time?” Sam asked, hurt. 

“Well, ever since Metatron powered up with ye olde angel tablet and decided I would make a good puppet,” Gabriel said with a shrug. “Cassie didn’t tell you? I kept expecting you yahoos to ride to the rescue and get me the hell out of there. After all, I did die for you and all. I figured that earned me a bit of a rescue.”

“No, he didn’t tell us,” Dean said looking accusingly at Cas, who looked stricken. 

“I thought that it was a trick created by Metatron. I am sorry brother. I did not realize you were actually alive again,” Cas said looking down guiltily. 

“So how did you get away?” Sam asked, wanting to take some of the attention off Cas. 

“Holy fire burns a long time, but not forever. I managed to get out a few months ago and I’ve been at one of my safe houses building up strength until I got word that Lucifer was walking around again. Which brings me to my first question before the rescue mission intruded, how the hell could you let him out AGAIN!?”

That was the last straw for Cas who just turned and fled the room without a word.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam sighed. “I don’t suppose you’d mind if I grab something to eat while we talk? I haven’t eaten in a while,” he said resignedly. 

“Yeah, I don’t think any of us have,” Dean agreed. 

The next thing they knew they were all standing in the kitchen and there was a full meal on the table. Gabriel plopped into a seat and put his feet up on the table and twirled his lollipop in his mouth as he said, “Ok. Talk.”

That pulled Dean out of his sputtering long enough to snap, “What walking fifty feet too good for you?” 

Gabriel just rolled his eyes and ignored him while waiting for someone to start explaining something. Sam was the one who finally spoke. “We weren’t intending to let him out. We found a way to communicate with him from the cage and we wanted to ask him what he knew about the darkness…”

“So, letting the destroyer of the universe out of her cage wasn’t enough? You decided to make it a twofer?”

“He wasn’t supposed to be able to get out!” Sam protested. “He wouldn’t have if…” Sam trailed off, not wanting to say it. 

“If what?” Gabriel prodded wanting to know who he had to blame for this clusterfuck. It seemed dear old auntie was handled and dad had taken off again, Michael was still in the cage and Raphael was dead, which meant he was the only possible threat to Lucifer still in the world which put him in a really shitty position. 

“You need to understand. Amara was roaming free and we all thought that Lucifer might just be our only shot, since we thought you were dead, Chuck hadn’t shown back up yet, Michael was all loopy, and Raphael is definitely dead. He was the last one left who knew anything and the strongest being in existence.”

“All the more reason to keep him locked up!” Gabriel said. 

Sam sighed. “Look, we get it Gabriel, but we had to do something, and Cas thought…”

“Cassie? He’s the one who let Lucifer out? After he fell to get him trapped again?!”

“He let Lucifer use him as a vessel with the promise that he would just take care of Amara and leave the rest of the world alone,” Dean said defensively. 

“And you actually believed him?!” 

“I didn’t, which is why I said no when he asked me. I was just there for information and Dean didn’t even know what we were doing. Cas thought it was our only shot though and Amara was going to destroy everything anyway, so he took the chance,” Sam tried to defend both himself and Dean as well as the guilt-ridden seraph.

“So, will you help us with him or not?” Dean asked impatiently as Gabriel lapsed into a stunned silence. 

Gabriel’s jaw dropped as his head snapped around to the hunter. “Are you kidding me? I died on your altar of stupidity once and you’re asking me to throw myself on it again?!” The fact that he was considering the fact in the first place didn’t dull his anger at their presumption. “What the hell do you expect me to do? The cage can’t be opened again. The rings were a one-shot thing and are out of commission now.”

“Rowena had a spell that could put him back in the cage. If we can find it, and keep him distracted long enough to use it, we have a shot,” Sam told him. Gabriel would be their best bet for a distraction. He could hopefully hold his own long enough for them to do the spell. 

“Who is Rowena? And what kind of spell could possibly affect the cage?” Gabriel asked shocked. For that matter, he hadn’t even asked how they managed to find a way to communicate either. Probably this Rowena chick again. 

“She’s a witch. Crowley’s mother actually…”

“Demons don’t have parents,” Gabriel narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

“Well technically, she’s Fergus McCloud’s mother which is who Crowley was before he became a demon,” Sam explained. 

“So she’s at least a few hundred years old, which doesn’t bode well. The only witches with that kind of life expectancy are bad news, but go on. What kind of spell could she possibly have that could affect the cage built by god himself to house archangels?” 

“I don’t know much about it, but I’m sure we could figure it out if we could find where she stashed the book of the damned.”

“The book of the damned!” Gabriel yelled. “Are you morons completely brain-dead!? Do you have any idea of the kind of magic in that book!? What it does to your souls!? Please tell me neither of you have been stupid enough to cast anything from that book or let it be cast on you.”

“We haven’t cast anything. We can’t even read it. The only thing she cast on either of us was when she broke the curse of the mark of cain on Dean,” Sam told him trying to placate him. 

Gabriel turned to Dean and narrowed his eyes at him as he scanned his soul before he cursed and got up from the table. “Good job. You saved your brother from the mark only to sear off half of his soul,” he said scathingly. “What the hell were you thinking getting involved with the book of the damned? Didn’t the name clue you in to the fact that it was a bad idea?” 

Sam blanched pure white when Gabriel mentioned the state of Dean’s soul, but he recovered as Gabriel continued his tirade. “If I hadn’t done it, then he would be a demon now,” he defended himself. 

“This is a complete nightmare,” Gabriel said running his hand through his hair as he paced. “I swear if you two idiots don’t stop trying to fix things you’re going to destroy the entire universe.” They had the good sense to keep their mouths shut as Gabriel paced for a few minutes and they finished their meal. Finally, Gabriel spoke again. “Okay, that book and anything that comes from it is out of the question. I will consider what else we can do about Lucifer.” Sam and Dean looked at each other and mouthed ‘we?’, but Gabriel missed that and just kept talking. “And if you do find that book, you call me immediately. Don’t even think about touching it. Due to the black magic in it, it can’t be destroyed, but I can stash it somewhere it will never be found again.”

“Let’s get back to this whole issue about Dean missing half his soul,” Mary said not too happy about the idea, even though she had to admit that it was still better than him being a demon. Sam and Dean had intended on getting back to that whole discussion as well, but knew Gabriel well enough to know that he needed to let off some steam before he would be up to answering questions. 

Apparently, either Gabriel had a softer spot for Mary than them, or he had let off enough steam, because he answered her somewhat calmly. “Maybe not exactly half, but close. That kind of magic always takes its price and between the Mark of Cain…another exercise in stupidity by the way…and the spell that removed it, the price was pretty high.”

“What…what kind of side effects does that have?” Sam asked worriedly. “Is there anything that can be done to fix it?” 

“The soul is where emotion and empathy come from. Missing a soul would completely get rid of those things, but a soul being damaged to that degree would increase them. Have you noticed that you feel things deeper than you did before? That you have more difficulty keeping our feelings bottled up?” Gabriel asked Dean knowingly. 

“I just figured it had something to do with the demon cure or something,” Dean said with a shrug. He knew that his drinking had been getting more out of hand since then because of it, but didn’t think much about it. 

“Demon cure?” Gabriel asked before holding up a hand and shaking his head. “Never mind. I don’t think I want to know.”

“No, this one isn’t bad or anything,” Sam assured him. He wanted Gabriel to know that not everything they did was like letting Lucifer out or releasing the darkness or working with an evil witch and the king of hell. When Gabriel looked at him skeptically, Sam explained. “I purified my blood and injected it into him while he was within a devil’s trap on consecrated ground, and then incanted a modified exorcism to cleanse the demon from his soul.”

“And that worked?” Gabriel asked incredulously. 

“Yeah. The men of letters figured it out back before they got wiped out…”

“Probably WHY they got wiped out,” Gabriel interjected. 

“Probably,” Sam said thoughtfully. “So, what about fixing his soul. Is there anything we can do there?”

“Not quickly or easily,” Gabriel told them. When he got three impatient looks he rolled his eyes and continued. “Over time, as long as he has plenty of love in his life, it can heal at least partway. And when I say over time, I mean decades. The chances of it healing completely before he dies is slim to none.”

“And what happens if it doesn’t heal completely before I die?” Dean asked worriedly. 

“It depends on how far along the healing is. If it’s close enough, you can still go to heaven. If not, you can’t cross over and you become a ghost.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was early morning, well before the sun was even thinking of coming up, and Gabriel was browsing the library. After learning that they had found the demon cure in this place, Gabriel was hoping there would be some ideas for Lucifer here as well. Cas still hadn’t come out of his room, but Gabriel decided to give him a little while. If he hadn’t come out by lunchtime he would go after him. He was surprised when he heard someone walking around, and wondered if Cassie finally dared to show his face. He stopped short when he saw that it was Mary Winchester who was now sitting at the table and paging through an old journal. He started to walk away, but she noticed him. “Gabriel. I didn’t realize you were still here.”

“Just checking the library for some ideas on our Lucifer situation,” he said with a shrug. There was something about her that tugged at his heartstrings. She just seemed so lost and he didn’t know how to handle that and didn’t want to overstep his bounds by trying to help anyway. 

“Can I…ask you something?” she asked hesitantly. 

“Sure,” he said with another shrug. 

“You left heaven and have been here on earth for a long time haven’t you?” 

“A few thousand years,” he told her. 

“How long did it take before you felt like…you fit, you know?” 

Gabriel gave her a sympathetic smile as he sighed and plopped into the seat across from her. “I don’t think anyone ever truly feels like they fit. I know I never have. Not in heaven and definitely not here.”

“But you seem so…together,” she said surprised that he felt that way. 

“Thing is, all any of us can do is the best we can with what we have. You find something to hold on to, some purpose to fulfil, some reason to keep going, and you let that be your anchor. I know it’s probably difficult for you, being thrust into a world that you know nothing about and finding your babies all grown up and doing things that must scare the crap out of you, but you still have to find that something,” Gabriel told her gently. 

“What is your something?” she asked. 

“For a long time it was dispensing justice…with a sense of humor of course,” he said with a slight chuckle.

“It ‘was’…what is it now?” she asked. 

“It’s not important,” he said quickly. Too quickly. 

She managed a slight smile at that. “Sam,” she said knowingly. She had seen the way he looked at Sam, the way he jumped to when he realized that Sam was hurt and immediately set out to finding him, the way he was jumping into this Lucifer situation despite it being very much NOT in his best interests. He narrowed his eyes at her and she knew she was right, and that he had no intention of talking to her about it. “How do I even begin to find something like that?” she asked wearily, getting back to the original topic. 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Gabriel asked incredulously and when she looked at him confused he just rolled his eyes. “Do you have any idea how much your sons have missed you? THEY are your anchor.”

“I just…I don’t even know where to begin with them. Last time I saw them, Sam was just a baby. Dean was barely more than a toddler. And now here they are…hunters. And not even hunters like me. I mean…I dealt with werewolves, vampires, ghosts, the occasional demon but them…They deal with archangels and god and Lucifer and the king of hell and the horsemen of the apocalypse and a ton of other crap that is just so far above my head that I can’t even comprehend.”

“Ten years ago, they felt the same way. I mean, I was posing as a simple trickster when we met, and they were completely lost. They still considered low level demons as ‘above their pay grade’. Everything they know now…everything they do now…it was hard earned in a trial of fire. You learn or you die,” Gabriel explained. 

“And you’ve helped them more than they know, haven’t you?”

“They were forced into all this by the machinations of heaven and hell. They never got a choice,” Gabriel ignored the question as he continued. She was far too intuitive for his comfort. “Thing is…deep down…they are just as lost as you are. They need you just as much as you need them. Just let them in.”

“Thank you, Gabriel,” she said with a smile as she got up from the table. “I should try and get some more sleep.”

“You want some help? I can put you out like a baby,” Gabriel offered. 

“That would be nice,” she said gratefully and he followed her to her room. Once she was comfortable in bed, he put a hand to her forehead and she was fast asleep. 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t paying much attention as he turned and left her room and found himself shoved against the wall. “What the hell were you doing in my mother’s room in the middle of the night?” Sam hissed angrily.

Gabriel took one look at his face and couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “You think…Momma Winchester and I…” he couldn’t get out any more words for a few minutes due to the laughter and Sam pulled him away from the wall and slammed him into it again to get his attention. Gabriel’s laughter turned to quiet chuckles as he said, “Easy Cujo. She was having trouble sleeping. I just put her to sleep. I was in there for all of three minutes,” he said amusedly. 

“If I find out you’re screwing around with my mother, I swear to god Gabriel…”

“Trust me, Samsquatch. I have absolutely zero interest in your mother,” Gabriel said shaking his head at the obliviousness of the hunter. “We done here?” he asked pulling Sam’s hands effortlessly from his shirt and didn’t even wait for an answer before he said, “Good,” and walked off, still shaking his head and chuckling, leaving a gobsmacked hunter standing in the hallway. 

 

The next morning, Sam woke up and made his way to the kitchen to find Gabriel cooking up a big breakfast. “What do you think you’re doing?” Sam asked heatedly. 

“Sam!” Mary scolded, which just pissed Sam off even more. To his mind it was evidence that there was something going on with them if she was defending him. 

“Well I think I’m making breakfast, but if you can’t tell, maybe I’m doing it wrong,” Gabriel said sarcastically, ignoring Mary’s outburst. He was more than used to such treatment from Sam.

“Get out of our kitchen. Hell, get out of our house altogether,” Sam snapped. 

“That’s enough, Sam,” Mary snapped right back at him. 

“Don’t worry about it, doll. I’m done here anyway. I should get back to my research,” Gabriel said sliding the plates on the table and walking out. Just because he was used to it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. 

“Why are you treating him like that?” Mary asked upset. “He saved your life and he’s going to help us with Lucifer. Don’t you think you should be a little nicer?”

“Are you sleeping with him?” Sam asked bluntly. 

“What? No!” Mary said wondering where on earth Sam had gotten that idea. 

“I saw him coming out of your room at three oclock this morning,” Sam told her. 

“I couldn’t sleep. He was in the library doing research for our Lucifer issue and he heard me walking around and he offered to put me to sleep. That’s all. Is that why you’re being so rude this morning? You really think I would just jump into bed with the first guy who happened along?”

“No,” Sam said quickly, realizing that he was insulting his mother with the assumption as well as Gabriel. “It’s just…you’re very vulnerable right now and he’s…well…Gabriel. He wouldn’t think twice of taking advantage of you.”

“I think you have him all wrong, Sam,” she said gently. “We talked for a little while before I went back to bed and there’s more to him than you think.”

“With all due respect, Mom. I think we know him a lot better than you do,” Sam told her. 

“Known him longer, maybe, but I don’t know about better. You seem completely blind to him from where I’m sitting. Have you ever even had a real conversation with him?”

“Oh we’ve had plenty of conversations. When he was killing people, when he was killing Dean a thousand times, when he held us prisoner to try to force us to get the apocalypse over with, and you see how he is. His whole having fun at everyone else’s expense thing. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

“I don’t know about everything in the past, but I don’t see him having fun at everyone’s expense. I see him doing his best to help you and you pushing him away. If you can’t see that his attitude is a mask then you are blind. He pretends not to care because you obviously don’t care about him. I saw him go from demanding answers on Lucifer to frantically working a spell to find you the second Dean pointed out that you were hurt. I saw the fear in his eyes when you mentioned the book of the damned. He’s willing to throw himself in the line of fire against Lucifer for you, after dying the last time he did the same thing, and you think he doesn’t care?” 

“He always has his own reasons for everything he does. Just because we don’t know what they are don’t mean they aren’t there. Don’t let him fool you. He has his own agenda here. We’re just lucky that it seems to line up with ours for the moment. It won’t stop him from making us miserable in the meantime. You’ll see,” Sam told her. 

Mary sighed. Sam really was blind and it seemed that she wasn’t going to be able to convince him.


	4. Chapter 4

As they finished breakfast, Sam went off to the library in search of Gabriel and found him sitting at the center table with three large books spread around him, with a lollipop in his mouth as he was making notes in a notebook next to him. Sam ignored the whole scene and just marched over to Gabriel. “Somehow you’ve managed to give my mother the impression that you’re actually a decent guy, but we both know better. If you hurt her…in any way…I swear I will find the holy oil and I will end you. Even if that means we have to take on Lucifer alone. You get me, Gabriel?” 

“I’m shaking in my boots, Sammykins,” Gabriel drawled unconcernedly. 

“Just remember what I said,” Sam hissed as he stormed back out of the library. 

Mary had a good idea what Sam was going to do, and when she saw him storm back out of the library she sighed and went to check on Gabriel. No sooner than she stepped in the door, he said, “I see you tried to convince Sam that I’m not a complete waste of space. It’ll never work.”

“It should,” Mary said firmly. 

“Maybe. Maybe not. I do appreciate the effort, but it’s not worth the drama it’ll cause in your family,” Gabriel told her. 

“It’s not right,” she replied, not wanting to back down. 

Gabriel finally looked up from his books for the first time since she came in. “Look, Mary. I get it. But you need to understand, I knew going in that I was going to have to make Sam hate me to have a chance to save him. And if dealing with that hatred will allow me to save him again then I’ll deal with it. More than anything else right now, he needs you. Don’t let me be the thing that takes you away from him.” That was the closest he would ever come to admitting his feelings to her, and he only said that much because she already knew anyway. 

Mary just huffed and sat down at the table across from him. She wasn’t going to give up that easy. She at least wanted to have a better idea of what was going on. “You made him hate you by killing Dean?” she asked, having picked up on that and despite the fact that he had brought him back and saved him since then, she wanted her own answers on that too. 

“I was never going to let Dean stay dead. He was already on his way to hell. He had sold his soul to save Sam. The demons were planning to use his grief to whip him up into a vengeful fury to manipulate him into killing the first demon at the time and place of her choosing to release Lucifer and then Lucifer would take him as a vessel. I thought if I could get him used to Dean’s death…to living without him…if I could allow him to get out all his rage and grief on me, then they wouldn’t be able to use him so easily. I failed. It was all for nothing anyway.” He took a deep shaky breath. “So, you see. You will never convince Sam that I’m not a monster.”

Mary placed a hand on his arm as she got up and walked around the table. “That doesn’t mean I can’t try,” she said before leaning over and kissing his temple. 

“Mary…” Gabriel said warningly. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t push him away. I know what I’m doing,” she told him before she walked out. She’d found her purpose now, and nothing was going to stop her. 

Gabriel sighed. He just hoped she was right and he wasn’t going to be the cause of Sam losing her. It seemed the more he tried to convince her that she should give it up as a lost cause, the more she dug her heels in. He should have known that their mother would be just as stubborn as they were. A few hours later when he heard Dean heading into the kitchen, he noticed that it was almost lunch time. He thought about going to make them some lunch, but decided against it. He really wasn’t in the mood. He did remember his plan about the other angel in the bunker though and decided to go search out Cas. 

He hated that his senses were so muffled due to the wards here, otherwise he would be able to sense Cassie’s grace and it would lead him right to him, but he was reduced to searching the old fashioned way. He decided to start near Dean’s room, but the hunter caught him after the first room he checked to find empty. “What are you doing?” Dean asked narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the archangel. 

“Looking for Cassie. He’s been hiding for long enough,” Gabriel told him. 

“Don’t bother. I already tried to get him to come out,” Dean said dismissively. 

“Well it’s not you he’s hiding from,” Gabriel said pointedly. 

“What are you going to do to him?” Dean asked, trying to decide if he should help the archangel or not. 

“What do you think I’m going to do to him? No matter how stupid he’s been, he’s still my brother. It’s not like I’m going to kill him or anything,” Gabriel said rolling his eyes. 

That comment about still being his brother was all it took to convince Dean. He knew that the only way Cas would come out of that room is if Gabriel worked things out with him. He didn’t like Gabriel and he didn’t trust him, but he was Cas’ brother and that counted for something. Dean pointed to the right room and said, “Just…go easy on him? Please? He already feels bad enough.”

Gabriel nodded non-commitally as he walked over to the door and knocked on it. “Go away, Dean,” he heard from inside. 

Gabriel smirked and threw the door open. “Not Dean,” he said walking in and plopping down in the chair next to where Cas was sitting on the bed. 

“Gabriel…brother…I…” Cas stammered. 

“Okay, let’s get a few things out in the open before we do this,” Gabriel said firmly. He hated having to be so serious but he knew that it was the only way Castiel would hear him. “First of all, you are my brother. I love you. I always will, no matter how badly you screw up, but you really screwed up big this time.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas said looking down as the tears stung his eyes. It was one thing being yelled at by Dean, but facing the complete disappointment from his big brother…the one who raised him…and in the same breath as the promise of forgiveness, was a difficult thing to process. 

“I know. And they told me why you did it, so I don’t need to hear your justifications…unless there’s more that they don’t know?” he half-asked. 

“I just…I was so useless. Heaven doesn’t want me, and they are all I have left, but I was left completely hopeless against Amara. I had to do something…anything…to protect them. To show them that I still could…”

“I do understand. Believe me,” Gabriel told him and he did. He had died to protect them once after all. “But letting Lucifer out was still stupid and reckless. Did you even consider the fact that if he did manage to beat Amara, he would now be the most powerful being on the planet and no one would be able to stand against him any more than they could her?”

“I didn’t. She seemed like the bigger problem at the time. She WAS the bigger problem. He had at least promised to leave the rest of the world…and Dean and Sam…alone. She had made no such promises. It was sure destruction over the chance that he wouldn’t keep his word. Besides, they have a better chance of beating Lucifer than they did her, even if it is still a long shot.”

Gabriel had to admit he did have a point. It was a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. He realized the real reason he was so pissed and admitted it to Cas, if for no other reason than to make him feel better. “I get it. And you are right. There was no good answer there. I suppose the fact that I literally died to get Lucifer locked away again makes me a little biased about letting him out.”

Speaking of him dying, Cas had more he felt the need to apologize for. “I’m sorry I never helped you when Metatron had you,” he said still looking down. “I didn’t realize…I should have…”

“It’s okay, Cassie. Really. I was never really mad at you about that one. Not once you told me that you didn’t know it was really me. For all you knew it was a trick by Metatron to lure them and you into a trap trying to rescue me. Hell, for all ‘I’ know he DID have a trap set for all of you if you tried it. You can’t be blamed for what you didn’t know,” Gabriel told him. He had plenty more bones to pick with his brother, but couldn’t bring himself to pile any more on right now. There would be plenty of time later to deal with all the baggage. Unless of course one or both of them died in this suicide run in which case it would hardly matter anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

Mary spent most of the day deep in thought. Most of her thoughts not on the Gabriel problem, but on the problem of connecting with her sons. She realized that the best way to connect with them would be through hunting. It was their life and it had been her life too before she gave it up. It would take some time to get back in the swing of things and learn how things were done now, but it was the best option. She had gotten out for them. Well back then it had been more the idea of them. Of wanting children but not wanting to raise them in this world, but they were in now and they showed no intentions of getting out. She might as well join them and share it with them. That thought in mind, she went to the bathroom to cut her hair. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d done so, and she was pretty good at cutting her own hair. Long hair just wasn’t a good idea for hunting. 

By the next morning she had found a case, and brought it to the boys. Before she could say anything, they remarked on her hair. “I'm gonna keep it short if I'm gonna go out on a hunt, you know? Why give the bad guys the advantage of long pullable hair right?”

“Wow. I’ve been trying to tell Sam that for years,” Dean teased only to get a bitchface from his brother. 

“Did you say…um…going out on a hunt?” Sam asked surprised. 

“I found a case,” she told him, hoping they would offer to go with her. 

“I thought you were still struggling with even the IDEA of the internet,” Sam said. 

“I had Dean pick up some newspapers when he went into town,” she said with a shrug and noticed the hard look that Sam gave Dean. 

“Whoa, whoa. I…you didn’t tell me you were looking for a case,” he said defensively. 

“Well I found one. Minnesota. Two dead, locked room. Victims had put in a call about a crying baby. But the place was empty. The only thing at the scene as their bodies. Been five days, and the coroner still hasn't put out a cause of death. Seemed fishy.” She noticed that neither of them looked very happy about the idea so she added, “It’s probably nothing, but I just wanted to get back out there in the swing of things.”

Sam still looked unsure, but Dean cut in with, “Alright then. Family hunting trip. Gear up. We go in ten.”

She found that connecting with her boys on a hunt was easier said than done. She got that they were used to hunting alone and that she had been out of the game for almost forty years, but that didn’t mean they had to push her aside and refuse to listen to anything she said. It was this frustration that had her going back to the house alone. The inner turmoil also made her easy pickings for the ghost that possessed her. She was immensely glad that they managed to stop her from doing any real damage but it was a rather terrifying experience. 

Once they were back in the car on the road, she turned to them and said, “That can’t happen again.”

“Damn right it can’t. What were you thinking going off on your own like that?” Dean asked angrily. 

“I was thinking that you were shutting me out and refusing to listen to me and guess what? I was right and if you had listened to me just a little bit to begin with, we wouldn’t have been in that situation at all.”

Dean looked like he wanted to argue some more but Sam looked contrite as he said, “You’re right, Mom. We should have listened to you more.”

Mary deflated a little at that and said, “Look, I know when it comes to the technology and stuff that I’m way behind and I need to follow your lead, but when it comes to the cases themselves, I expect to be an equal partner or this is never going to work. I’m not some damsel in distress that you have to protect or some newbie that doesn’t know what she’s doing. This is my life. Has been since the moment I was born. I do know what I’m doing and you need to trust me more.”

“Yeah. Okay, Mom. I get it,” Dean said, now just as contrite as his brother. “I’ll try. It’s just…not something that comes easy for me, you know. We just got you back and the idea of losing you again…”

She smiled sadly at him and placed a hand on his arm. “You won’t lose me again. Not as long as we work together,” she told him as they headed back to the bunker. 

 

Mary had decided to observe a little more before bringing up the subject of Gabriel again and she had noticed that Dean was considerably nicer to Gabriel than Sam was. He wasn’t really nice by normal definitions of the word, but when compared to Sam the difference was like night and day. Mary pulled Dean aside later that night while Sam was busy on his computer to ask him about it. “So I’ve noticed that you’re more tolerant of Gabriel than Sam is,” she said leadingly. 

“I don’t have nearly the baggage that Sam does with him. I mean, I don’t like him. I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him, but as long as he’s useful I’ll put up with him. Sam though…he’s the one Gabriel tortured for a whole year in that time loop. I don’t think he’ll ever get over that.”

“But you’re the one he kept killing,” Mary said a bit confused. She could see why it was traumatic for Sam of course, but she didn’t understand why it wasn’t traumatic for Dean too.

“Yeah, but I don’t remember any of it. Sam remembers it all. Just one more torture that Gabriel heaped on him.”

“Did you ever ask him why he did that?” Mary asked tentatively. 

“What do you mean why he did it? Isn’t it obvious? He gets off on people’s pain. He enjoys watching them suffer. What other reason could there be?” 

“Maybe you should ask him,” Mary suggested. She doubted that Gabriel would be as open with Dean as he was with her, but he would probably tell him the reason at least without all the emotional parts. 

“Why don’t you ask him if you want to know so bad,” Dean snapped, annoyed. 

“I did, and I already know. Which is how I know that you and your brother are wrong about him.”

“Then enlighten me. Please. What could possibly be a valid excuse for putting Sam through that?” 

Mary considered her answer for a moment. She didn’t think she would be betraying any confidences by telling him, but she preferred that he ask Gabriel himself. It seemed that wasn’t going to happen though, so she bit the bullet. “He was trying to get Sam used to your death and living without you and give him a chance to take out his rage on grief on him instead of losing it once you were gone for real and starting the apocalypse.”

Dean just blinked at her for a moment as he came to terms with that. If that was true… “Even if that were true, what’s his excuse for all the other people he’s killed? What’s his excuse for trapping us in TV hell to force us to get the apocalypse over with? That may be the worst thing he’s done to us, but it’s far from the only thing.”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him about those things. Why don’t you? The guy sacrificed his life for you two to lock Lucifer back away the first time. He saved Sam when he was kidnapped. He’s working with you to help with Lucifer again this time. Don’t you think you owe him the courtesy of hearing him out at least?” 

“Maybe,” Dean said noncommittally. “Why does it matter so much to you?” he asked suspiciously. 

“Because I don’t like seeing anyone be treated the way you two treat him. Especially not someone I feel I owe so much to,” she told him honestly. 

“What makes you think he’s not just manipulating you?” Dean asked pointedly. 

“Because he’s not. You’re just going to have to trust me on that. I’m not stupid. I can spot manipulations a mile away. Even from an archangel,” she told him. 

“I’ll think about it,” Dean finally said. “I hope for your sake that you didn’t have this conversation with Sam.”

“I did. It didn’t go very well,” Mary admitted. 

“I would imagine it didn’t. I’m going to tell you right now, even if you manage to get me to be nice to the guy, Sam never will.”

“We’ll see,” was all she said to that and Dean sighed and resigned himself to playing peacemaker again, just like he had when their dad was alive.


	6. Chapter 6

Mary spent the next few days watching Sam snipe at Gabriel constantly and Gabriel just fire back witty comebacks like it was a joke between friends. Only she could see the tightness around his eyes every time Sam said something particularly hurtful. She didn’t know how much more of this she could watch so she set to looking for a case. Any case. When she found the stigmata thing she jumped on it and practically dragged the boys out. 

Dean was quick to try and pin it on the witch who got the dead woman’s job, but Mary wasn’t so sure. “Listen Dean. I get why you think it was her, but I just can’t see it. She didn’t seem too happy with the job, and you heard her. She’s not that kind of witch. She’s a positive energy and crystals kind of witch. I couldn’t sense anything off about her, and we do have another lead. Let’s just check out the crazy family and if they are clear, then we can see about digging a little deeper into her,” Mary suggested. 

Dean wanted to argue, but he remembered what happened the last time he ignored his mother’s instincts, so he grudgingly agreed. After the interview with the family Mary was convinced that something was fishy. “So, what? You think the girl’s ghost is still sticking around? But none of the incidents happened near here.”

“No, I don’t think the girl is dead. What that has to do with the case, I don’t know yet, but there is something seriously wrong here,” she told them. 

“I don’t know. They don’t seem so bad. I mean a little crazy yeah, but they seem like decent people,” Dean said. 

“Decent people who just let their daughter die?” Sam interjected, clearly unhappy about that whole situation. 

“If she is dead,” Mary added. 

“Why don’t you think she’s dead?” Sam asked curiously. 

“Did you see what she was like when she was talking about her? There was no grief there. Any mother who lost a child would find it far more painful to talk about. She didn’t shed a tear. In fact, she seemed more angry than anything.”

“Maybe she was angry at God for her dying?” Dean tried to reason. 

“No,” Sam disagreed. “Not with the way she was talking about God’s will like it was the be all and end all. No, she wouldn’t be angry about that. I don’t know if Mom’s right about her not being dead, but I agree that there’s something strange going on here.”

“Ok, so we’ll stick around, do a little snooping and see what we can find, but if we don’t find anything by tomorrow, we go after the witch,” Dean tried to compromise and the other two agreed so they split up and started looking around. 

Their finely tuned ears could pick up the cock of a gun a mile away so when they heard it, Sam and Dean rushed back towards the house to find the boy holding a gun on their mother while she tried to talk him down. They were trying to sneak up behind him to disarm him when they heard the cock of another gun behind them and they froze and turned around to find the dad holding a gun on them now. Dean considered his options. There were two guns and three of them, but the chances of taking them both down before someone got shot were slim to none, so when he was ordered to tie up his brother he reluctantly complied, but he made sure to tie him loosely so he would be able to get free. They would get them to lower their guard and preferably put the guns down before they made their move. They had gotten out of worse scrapes. 

It didn’t work out like he intended though. They had retied all of them, and much too tightly for them to get free. Seemed people like this were really good with knots. Mary admitted that she dropped her guard when saw the girl through the basement window, chained up and being forced to whip herself and that’s how the kid got the drop on her. What followed was a disaster by any sense of the word. The dad was dead…poisoned by the mom who was trying to force the son to eat the poisoned food, but Magda, the girl, stopped him. She used her psychic powers to throw his spoon away, followed by all the food on the table and Mary had enough. She prayed to Gabriel for help. 

He arrived just as the crazy mother grabbed the knife off the table and stabbed her son on accident when he jumped in front of it before she could kill his sister. Gabriel put a hand on her head and she dropped to the ground. By the time he turned to the boy, he was already dead and he sighed sadly. He could see the powers that the girl held and could also tell that, unlike Sam, she was born with them. “You can’t help him? Bring him back or something?” Dean asked. 

“He went with his reaper right away. Once they take him, there’s nothing I can do,” Gabriel lied. Well not completely lied. He COULD bring him back, but it would throw up a huge beacon to all of heaven that he was there and would be majorly against the rules. Just because there wasn’t an archangel running things anymore didn’t mean they couldn’t make his life difficult. Besides, “he’s in heaven now. You really think I should pull him away from heaven back into this?” he asked gesturing around the room at the dead father, psychotic mother, and damaged sister. 

“No. You shouldn’t,” Mary said quickly. If he truly was in heaven, she agreed that he shouldn’t be pulled back. 

“Mom!” Sam said scandalized but Mary just gave him a hard look and he suddenly understood. She wished she was still happy in heaven too and wouldn’t support putting anyone else in the turmoil she was feeling. Sam had every intention to talk to her about that soon, but he couldn’t bring himself to argue the point anymore and by then Gabriel had snapped his fingers and released them all from their bindings and reached towards the girl only to be pulled away by Sam. “Leave her alone,” he snapped. 

“I was going to heal her, Sam,” Gabriel said wearily and Sam looked suspiciously at him for a moment before he let go and watched Gabriel like a hawk as he reached out and did just that. “We should bring her back to the bunker with us.”

“Why?” Dean asked just as suspicious.

“Because I can help her learn to control her powers and keep them in check until she can,” Gabriel explained as if they were toddlers. 

“You can help me?” she asked in a small voice. 

“I can. If you’ll let me,” he told her gently. 

“Who are you?” she asked in awe. 

“Gabriel.” She immediately fell to her knees and started praying to him and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he reached down and took her by her shoulders and lifted her effortlessly to her feet. “Now, now. None of that. I’m just a regular guy who happens to be an archangel.”

“Can I talk to you outside for a minute,” Sam said tightly, trying not to lose his temper at Gabriel in front of the girl. 

“I’ll be right back,” he told her running a hand over her hair, and followed Sam outside. 

“If you think I’m going to let you use that girl for your own amusement you’ve got another think coming,” Sam said heatedly. 

“Look, Sam. You’re going to think whatever you want to think about me no matter why I say, but if you think I’m going to just turn my back on that girl who obviously needs my help then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”

“What are you playing at here, Gabriel? What’s in it for you?” 

“Absolutely nothing, Sam,” Gabriel said with a note of finality as he went back inside before Sam even had the chance to protest. By the time Sam followed him back inside, he and the girl were gone.

Sam, Dean, and Mary skipped town, but not before putting a call into the police to head to the farm. With any luck, the woman wouldn’t wake up in time to kill herself before they got there. Let her live with what she’d done. They wondered aloud if she would try to blame the girl that was supposed to be dead and if she would admit what she’d done, which would get her into more trouble. The downside of that would be that then they would be looking for Magda. 

When they got back to the bunker they found Gabriel, once again, in the library. “What did you do with her?” Sam asked frustrated. 

“She’s sleeping in one of the empty rooms that I fixed up for her. I’ll start working with her on her powers tomorrow,” he said evenly. 

“Why are you doing this?” Sam asked again. 

“Because she needs help, and I’m in the best position to give it,” Gabriel told him. He would never forget the way she had clung to him and cried when they got here. Even if he hadn’t already been planning to help her, the obvious grief and despair she was feeling would have melted his heart anyway. 

“That’s not an answer,” Sam snapped. 

“Well it’s the only one I have,” Gabriel told him.


	7. Chapter 7

They were interrupted by a phone ringing. Both Sam and Dean checked their pockets, but it was Gabriel who answered his phone and they could hear half the conversation. “Good job Cassie…That’s okay. At least we know…that slimy weasel?...if you can’t get rid of him feel free to use him as a distraction if you need to make an escape…no if you find him don’t get close enough for him to sense you…feel free to do a little cleanup but try not to lose him…okay Cassie. Later.”

“What was that?” Dean asked concerned. 

“Cassie is trying to track down Lucifer,” Gabriel told him. 

“So, you just push the problem off on him? We could have done that much,” Sam scoffed.

“I’m working on figuring out a plan, but how exactly do you expect me to execute any plan if we don’t know where he is, hmm? I have no intention of letting Cassie go up against Lucifer, but he is in the best position to track him down at least. I’m sure you heard me tell him to keep his distance if he does,” Gabriel said rolling his eyes as he turned back to his books, ignoring Sam storming out and Mary’s sigh as she walked out after him. Dean cut his eyes at Gabriel for a moment before he followed, ready to jump in if need be.

“Sam…” Mary said following him into the living room. 

“You called him didn’t you?” he said accusingly. 

“Yes. I did. People were dying in case you didn’t notice,” she said defensively. 

“We would have figured it out. We’ve gotten out of tougher situations before,” Sam snapped back at her. 

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you the number one rule of hunting? You do whatever it takes to save as many people as you can. If that means calling in a marker, owing a favor, whatever. You do it.”

“Well now we owe Gabriel of all beings. And worse…he knows it too,” Sam shot back. 

“And you think you didn’t already?” She asked incredulously. 

“That’s not the point. The point is that when he does call in those markers…and he will eventually…everything that gets heaped on will make it that much worse.”

“So, you would trade that girl’s life for owing Gabriel a little bit less?” she asked pointedly. “Would you trade mine? Or Dean’s? Because that’s what you’re telling me here. Sure, you’ve gotten out of tougher spots, and maybe we could have managed, but how sure are you that ALL of us could have gotten out alive?”

“Yeah because her life is going to be so much better as Gabriel’s plaything,” Sam snapped only to blink in shock as a hand hit his face. 

Mary’s eyes widened when she realized that she just slapped her son and before she could register anything else, Dean was standing between them. “That’s enough. Both of you,” he said firmly. “Sammy, go take a run. Mom, go…do whatever you do to cool down. We’ll deal with this later.” He turned to go back to the library only to find Gabriel standing there with a frown on his face. As soon as Dean saw him, he turned to go back to the library and started packing up books. “What are you doing?” Dean asked. 

“I’m leaving. I’ll go get Magda and take her to my house and come back at night while everyone is sleeping to change out books,” Gabriel told him while browsing the shelves for a few more to get him through. This was exactly what he was afraid of. His very presence was tearing their family apart. He wasn’t going to be responsible for any more of Sam’s pain than he had to. 

“No. You’re not,” Dean said slapping his hand on top of the book that Gabriel had added to the top of the stack. 

“I’ll still take care of Lucifer okay,” Gabriel told him but Dean didn’t move his hand. 

“You think you leaving will fix anything? Mom will blame Sam, which will just make Sam even more pissed at both you and her. Not to mention what Sam will do when he finds out you took Magda with you AND books from our library. No. You’re staying right here. I will handle Mom and Sam.”

Gabriel sighed and slumped into the chair. Dean was right. Leaving would just make everything worse, but how could he stay. Not to mention he wasn’t exactly happy about how much insight Dean was showing here. Was his mother rubbing off on him already? “What makes you think I’m leaving to fix things? Maybe I just have better places to be?” 

“And the timing is what? Coincidence? Please. If that were the case you wouldn’t have been here as long as you have. You wouldn’t have taken on Magda as a project. You wouldn’t be helping us with Lucifer.”

Once Sam came back an hour later and Mary seemed to be cooled down as well Dean sat both of them down to talk this out. He started with Sam though. “Sammy, Mom was right to call Gabriel. Maybe we could have gotten out of there on our own. Maybe we couldn’t have, but it was too close for comfort. She made a judgement call. It’s not one I would have made, but it doesn’t mean it was wrong. Mom, Gabriel’s a big boy. He can fight his own battles. He doesn’t need you defending him. You’re just going to have to accept the fact that Sam is completely unreasonable about him.”

“Unreasonable?!” Sam protested. “You think it’s unreasonable to hate someone who’s done so much to us? Unreasonable to hate a killer?”

“Okay, I hate to put it like this, but try and consider something, and keep in mind I’m not telling you to ease up on the guy, just trying to point out the flaw in your thinking. How many mistakes has Cas made? How many people has he killed or gotten killed? Yet you hear him out, listen to his reasons and forgive him. Every time. I’m not saying Gabriel is a good guy or anything, but honestly what has he done that was worse than helping to start the apocalypse, stirring up Eve, releasing the leviathan, letting Lucifer out of the cage, and so on? Yes, you are unreasonable, but you have your reasons, and I respect that. And you need to too, Mom.”

“And if Gabriel gets so fed up with the treatment that he leaves us to fend for ourselves against Lucifer? What then?” Mary asked. She knew that he wouldn’t do that, no matter how badly Sam treated him, but she could hardly tell them that, and at least it would give her a reason to push things. 

“Then we handle it. Like we always do,” Dean told her. 

Sam got up and left the table, heading to his room, still pretty pissed. He slammed the door a lot harder than he intended as he paced in the small space. They just didn’t understand. He had to keep his hate inflamed against Gabriel. He didn’t have a choice. If he let the hate fade…even a little bit…then everything else would come rushing back and he couldn’t take that. It would kill him. He still remembered when they met Gabriel. He’d fallen completely in love with him in the course of one conversation and spent most of the next year wishing that he wasn’t a monster, but then Mystery Spot happened and yeah. He hated him after that, but it was a manageable hate. When they found out that he was an archangel, Sam realized that he was so far out of his league he wouldn’t even register and the only buffer he had was that hate. He couldn’t just let it go. He didn’t dare. Of course, he always thought the worst of Gabriel. He had to. He refused to even begin to admit that he might be wrong about him. It would destroy him.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning found Dean sitting at the table, laptop open and he was very distracted. Something about this case was prickling at the edge of his consciousness but it was like it was just out of reach. When Sam and Mary joined him and he turned down breakfast, both got rather alarmed rather fast. He briefed them on the case, hoping Sam might remember what he seemed to be forgetting, but no luck so they went to check it out. 

Dean was kicking himself when he found all the Nazi crap. That was it. The Thule. Their MO was spontaneous combustion. When he finally managed to kill Hitler a few days later, he decided that they needed some down time away from the bunker and Gabriel. He didn’t particularly feel like walking right back into that mess now, so he pitched the idea of taking Mary to see Jodi. It was only right that their surrogate mother meet their real mother. 

Sam and Mary agreed and Mary in particular was rather glad to get a chance to meet her. They decided not to call ahead so they could surprise her. Mary was surprised to see a rather nice middle-class house in a good neighborhood and the sheriffs truck parked outside. They hadn’t mentioned that she was a cop. She had thought that Jodi was a hunter and she mentioned that as they pulled in. “Well yeah. She’s kinda both. She’s mainly a cop, but she works with hunters whenever they roll through and she’ll take out things that get too close if it’s a one person job.”

“So a hunter with a day job? That’s a thing?” she asked curiously as they got out of the car. 

“Not usually, but Jodi makes it work,” Sam said with a shrug. “Don’t ask me how.”

They rang the bell and motioned for Mary to stand behind them to maximize the surprise. Jodi opened the door and immediately said, “You two look like hell. What’s wrong?” 

“Hey Jodi,” Sam said cheerfully, kissing her cheek as he came in, followed by Dean doing the same and then she saw Mary, who Dean motioned inside too. “Just came from a hunt in Brookings,” he told her. 

“And you couldn’t shower first?” she teased wrinkling her nose before she looked pointedly at Mary waiting for an introduction. 

“So, Jodi this is Mary. Mom, this is Jodi Mills,” Dean said. 

“Mom? Mom. Wait, m– your mom?” Jodi asked gobsmacked.

“Yeah,” Sam said with a mischievous smile.

“I thought– I thought you were...” Jodi trailed off not really sure how to put it delicately. 

Mary knew what she meant though. “I was.”

“Wow. W-wow!” She pulled Mary into a hug. “It is so nice to meet you. Wow!”

“Since you were on our way back, we figured we’d stop in and surprise you and see you, Claire, and Alex,” Sam said with a grin. 

“Aw, that’s fun. Unfortunately, the girls are in Omaha for the weekend being angsty at a Radiohead concert. But I can feed you,” she offered. 

Sam brightened up at the thought and Dean said, “Yes. Alright. Oh, uh… Since the last time we saw you? I killed Hitler.”

Sam rolled his eyes and walked into the living room, plopping down on the couch and Mary just shook her head at the self-satisfied look on Dean’s face. Jodi looked quite confused and half-asked, “Thank you?”

“You’re welcome,” Dean said proudly, before the rest of them followed Jodi into the living room. 

When she came in, Jodi slapped Sam’s feet and said, “Feet off the table,” and Mary couldn’t help but chuckle. Seems that when they said she was a surrogate mother, they’d meant it. She couldn’t help but feel left out though. Jodi had the kind of easy, relaxed relationship with her sons that she wished she could have and she mostly just watched as they dug into the pizza and teased Jodi about her movie habits and raised her eyebrow when Sam mentioned, Dean’s movie habits, but they were interrupted by a ringing phone. “I need to leave this scintillating conversation,” she said highly amused, but when she came back all traces of good humor were gone from her face. 

“Jodi?” Sam asks jumping to his feet along with Dean and they, along with Mary followed her into her room. 

“Jodi, what’s up?” Dean asked worriedly. 

“A friend of mine died,” she said, her throat closing up around the words. 

“Who?” Sam asked gently. 

“Asa Fox,” she said and no one noticed the gasp from Mary. 

“Asa Fox, why does that name sound familiar?” Dean asked. 

“Isn’t he that guy Ellen used to tell stories about at the Roadhouse?” Sam tried to remember. 

“Yeah,” it struck Dean. “He supposedly killed, like, five wendigo’s in one night.”

“He was a hunter?” Mary asked trying to keep herself together too. 

“Yeah. Yeah, he was a hunter. He, uh. He rolled into town a few months back, tr-tried to convince me he was FBI Agent Fox Mulder. He was chasing a pack of ghouls and I helped. He’d pass through every once in a while after that, and we’d grab co… coffee or… something.” Her voice broke a bit and she muttered, “Oh, he was a good man.” She took a deep breath before she continued. “The… the wake’s tonight, and, um. They’re gonna salt and burn the body tomorrow. I can’t believe I just said that like it’s something normal.”

“We’ll come with you,” Dean said with a note of finality, but Sam was looking at their mom. 

“Mom?” he asked. 

“I…I knew Asa,” she said softly. 

“How? He would have been a child when…” Jodi started. 

“He was. I saved him from a werewolf and got him something to eat and took him home. I…I didn’t think…he said he wanted to be an astronaut. I didn’t think he’d ever become a hunter,” she said thrown completely off kilter. 

Jodi put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “He talked about you, but he never actually said a name. He was grateful. You should come. Just…maybe take a shower first. All three of you,” she said with a hint of amusement shining through the sadness. 

Jodi made a decision while she was packing and they were taking turns in the shower. She would drive separately and ask Mary to ride with her. She could see that the woman could use a nice mom to mom conversation. Once they were on the road, Jodi turned to Mary and asked, “How are you holding up? I can’t imagine any of this is easy for you.”

“No. It’s not. I’m managing though. They call you their surrogate mother, you know?” she added. While part of her was extremely grateful to the other woman for filing that hole in their lives, part of her also wanted to stake her claim, and she wasn’t sure which part of her that comment represented. 

Jodi winced though. “I’m sorry. That must have been hard…”

“No. It’s okay. I…I don’t begrudge you that relationship with them. I just…I wish I could have the same. I mean…I’m their mother, but it’s like we’re perfect strangers half the time. I just don’t know how to connect with them the way you seem to.”

“Do you want my advice?” Jodi asked, not wanting to overstep her bounds but getting the idea that it was exactly what Mary was looking for. 

“Please.”

“You’re trying too hard. All three of you are. I could see that almost the second you walked in. It’s like you all have this idea about what the relationship SHOULD be like and you’re trying to force it to be like that. You have to relax and let it grow naturally,” she told her. 

“How did it work with you?” Mary asked curiously.

“It was a bit different with us. I arrested them when we met,” Jodi told her laughing, before sobering a bit as she told her the whole story about losing her husband, and then her son for the second time. “Blubbering all over them before I picked up my gun and saved their asses was a pretty big ice breaker,” she finished. 

“I can imagine,” Mary said looking out the window, feeling bad for what Jodi had gone through. 

“I would suggest talking to them. I know you probably feel like you don’t want to burden them with all your inner turmoil. You feel like you should be taking care of them, not the other way around, but trust me. It will help. They can be a great support system if you let them, and it will bring you all closer together.”

Mary just nodded. It was very similar to what Gabriel had told her about letting them in. She couldn’t really deny the advice that she had now gotten from two separate sources. Once Asa’s funeral was over and done with, she would probably do just that. The rest of the long ride was spent sharing hunting stories, and Jodi told her quite a few stories about her sons. Some she just got another point of view on, but most she hadn’t heard yet. 

The wake ended up being a clusterfuck of massive proportions as a demon decided to seal them in and make it a playground. Mary considered calling Gabriel for help, but she knew better than to call any supernatural creature into a whole group of hunters when she didn’t know where they stood on the idea of angels, so they dealt with it. Sam and Dean quickly picked up on the fact that Jodi was the one possessed and they ended up trading off on the exorcism around the room before Mary finally finished it. Jody collapsed and Sam rushed to catch her. “Jodi? Jodi are you okay?” he asked worriedly, brushing her hair back from her face. 

“That…sucked,” Jodi managed weakly, trying to hold herself together, and Sam sighed with relief and just sat back holding her tightly in relief. 

It wasn’t until after Asa was salted and burned that the rest of them found out how Dean had gotten back in from outside after the lockdown went into effect when Billie showed up. Dean explained at Mary’s obvious confusion. “She’s a reaper. She’s the one that got me back inside.”

“And now you owe me one,” Billie said smugly as her eyes settled on Mary. “This one. This one right here.”

Mary’s eyes went wide at that. “What?” 

“See, I’m a big believer in what dies, stays dead. Laws of the universe and all that, so…”

“I didn’t ask to come back here,” Mary said defensively. 

“No, you didn’t. And you hate it. The look in your eyes, I’ve seen it before. It’s a dead man’s look– eyes that say no matter where you go or what you do, it feels like this world doesn’t fit anymore. Like you’re all alone.”

“Well, she’s not alone,” Dean jumped in quickly. 

Billie just ignored him and kept her eyes on Mary. “Tell me I’m wrong. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this.” 

“How would it work?” Mary asked nervously. 

“Mom!” Sam said alarmed. 

“You just kill me again?” Mary continued. 

“Reapers don’t kill people. Rules.”

Mary could deny that it was tempting. It was very tempting. “Well… then…” her eyes moved up to her sons and she remembered everything that Gabriel had said about letting them be her anchor. About how much it would kill them to lose her again. About everything that she’d missed. If he HAD to die then that was one thing, but she couldn’t just go and abandon them all over again. “Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait.” Sam and Dean let out sighs of relief and each wrapped an arm around her. 

“Winchesters,” Billie said in frustration. “If you change your mind– if any of you change your minds– you know my name,” she offered as she disappeared. 

Dean pressed a kiss to his mother’s head. “Come on, Mom. Let’s go home.”


	9. Chapter 9

When they got back to the bunker they heard voices coming from the library and wondered if Cas was back so they headed that direction only to stop in the doorway as they saw Gabriel and Magda both sitting crosslegged on the floor facing each other and Gabriel had her hands in his. Magda’s eyes were closed as Gabriel spoke in a quiet soothing voice. “Just let everything else fade away and just focus on the book. Imagine yourself lifting the book and reach out with your mind…Ooof,” Gabriel’s head snapped back as the book smacked him in the face and Sam couldn’t help but snicker at that causing Gabriel to whip around and look at them, but his attention was soon drawn by the crying girl who was apologizing profusely. He gave them one last glare, implying that they should go somewhere else before he turned his attention back to her and wiped her tears with his thumbs. “It’s okay sweetheart. These things happen, and I’m not hurt even a little bit, see? Not a mark. Shh. It’s okay,” he leaned in and kissed her forehead as he heard the library door close behind him. 

Mary looked pointedly at Sam who just glared and started to storm off, before Dean stopped him. “I think we all need to have a little talk,” he said in a tone that brooked no argument. He hadn’t wanted to do this in the car while he was driving, but he had put it off long enough, so they settled in the lounge and Dean started. “All that crap Billie was saying…is she right?” 

Mary took a deep breath. It was now or never. “You have to understand, Dean. It’s not that I hate being with you boys. Not at all, but I miss my babies. I…I missed…everything. And all this crap you have to deal with, everything you’ve been through…it’s all my fault…and I wasn’t even here to help you. I…I should have been and I just…I don’t know how to deal with all this. It’s just so…overwhelming.”

“Why wouldn’t you just talk to us?” Sam asked, hurt. 

“Because I’m your Mom. I’m supposed to be the one who takes care of you. Not the other way around. I just…didn’t want to burden you with my issues,” she said sadly. 

“I’m glad you’re talking to us now,” Sam said gently putting a hand on hers. 

“It’s kinda hard to deny advice you’ve gotten from two completely separate sources,” she said with a wry smile. 

“Jodi, I’m guessing is one. Who’s the other?” Dean asked curiously, wondering who else she could have possibly been talking about their relationship with. 

“Well…Gabriel,” she said with an apologetic look at Sam who stiffened at the name. 

“You’ve been talking to Gabriel about us? And he actually gave you decent advice?” Dean asked shocked and a little annoyed. 

“Not so much about you, exactly. More about finding my place in this world. He just said that I should let you boys in and let you be my anchor.”

“Serious good advice at that,” Dean said surprised that he hadn’t made a joke of it or anything. 

Sam just shifted nervously. It would be just like Gabriel to get her to get close to them again and wait until it would have the maximum impact before he killed her or did something else to her to take her away again. He didn’t trust this situation in the slightest, but he didn’t want to start another fight right now by saying anything, so he changed the subject back to the original one. “I know things have been weird with us since you’ve been back, and you’re right. It is unsettling, but we’ll find our footing, Mom. We just have to keep talking to each other.”

“I just…part of me wonders if you could ever forgive me…if you SHOULD ever forgive me…I mean,” she choked up as she was suddenly pulled into hug by both of her boys. 

“Of course we forgive you, Mom,” Sam told her. 

Dean went into a little more detail, knowing that she needed a little more than a blanket assurance. “That deal you made sucked, and yes it messed up our lives, but we’ve all been there. We’ve all made deals and compromises and done really crappy stuff to save the people we loved. We can hardly hold it against you when we’ve forgiven each other for the same thing.”

“Dean’s right,” Sam assured her. “We were lucky enough to get you back, and everything that’s happened, we came through in one piece. And now you ARE here to help. Now you CAN be here for us, and we can be here for YOU. The way that family should be. Don’t shut us out anymore, Mom. Please.”

Mary cried cleansing tears as she clung to both of her boys. “I just love you both so much,” she managed to say. 

“We love you too, Mom,” Dean told her. 

“Always,” Sam added. 

Sam wanted some one on one time with his mother and offered to give Mary some lessons on the computer and she gratefully accepted, leaving Dean alone. He watched television for a while until Magda came out of the library and stopped short when she saw him. “It’s okay. You can sit down and watch with me if you want,” he offered and he noticed her hesitation. “Actually, I was gonna go talk to Gabriel about something so you can have at,” he handed her the remote as he got up. He really did need to talk to Gabriel, but it could have waited if he hadn’t seen how uncomfortable she was. 

“Thank you,” she said softly sitting gingerly on the chair as Dean left the room. 

He found Gabriel in the library still, of course. “How is she doing?” he asked. 

“She’s getting there. Her biggest hurdle is the fact that she’s so afraid of her powers…and of herself.” 

“Well I talked to Jodi…you know the sheriff who took in Cas’ vessel’s daughter and the girl who was raised by vamps. She said she would gladly take Magda in too when she’s ready,” Dean told him. 

Gabriel nodded gratefully. He had been worried about what she would do in the future. He was certainly in no position to take on a child long term. Even if he did make it out of this Lucifer thing alive which was no guarantee at all. At least now he knew what to prepare her for. “Would you be willing to talk to her and tell her about this woman? I mean, I can tell her where she’s going and all, but I don’t know anything about her and it would probably make her feel better to know something.”

“I don’t mind, but she seems kinda scared of me right now,” Dean said with a frown. 

“She’s not scared of you. She’s scared of hurting you. She’s scared of herself. It’ll help if you try and push past her walls. Sam and Mary too. Just don’t push her too hard.”

“Are you sure she won’t hurt me? I mean accidentally of course,” Dean added quickly at the dark look that came over Gabriel’s face. 

“I’m keeping some of her power blocked. We’re working with a little at a time. I can’t promise you won’t get hit in the face with a book or something,” he said with a chuckle, “but she can’t do anything serious, and any minor injuries you do get, I’ll heal.”

“You don’t have to…”

“She’s my responsibility. I’ll heal them,” Gabriel said firmly.

“Okay. Thanks,” Dean said with a nod as he turned to leave. He still didn’t like or trust Gabriel, but the scene that he had walked in on before had convinced him that the archangel had Magda’s best interests at heart if nothing else. 

When he got back out to the living room, he paused a moment, not sure that he was the best person to do this, but he could start small. He wouldn’t bring up any kind of difficult subjects or anything, but he could at least try and get her used to being in the same room with people. He would leave the hard stuff for Sammy or Mom though. He walked over and stood next to the couch and looked at her where she was sitting in the chair. “Do you mind if I join you?” he asked with an encouraging smile. 

“That’s okay. I can go…” she started to get up. 

“No, wait,” he said stopping her as she looked curiously at him. “It’s no fun watching tv alone. You can stay and watch with me. It’ll be okay.”

She bit her lip for a minute as she tried to decide, but the hopeful look on his face soon had her sitting back down nervously. It seemed that just being in the same room with someone else had her very on edge though and it was only about twenty minutes before Gabriel felt her power struggling against the shield he had up so he headed into the living room and put his hands on her shoulders and leaned down. “It’s okay sweetheart. Just relax. You’re safe. He’s safe. Everyone is okay. Just take a deep breath and let it go,” he said softly in her ear. She did as he said and he started rubbing her shoulders encouragingly. “That’s it. You’re doing great. Just relax.” Once she was breathing easily again, she gave him a grateful smile and he returned it before squeezing her hand and going back to his research.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, Sam walked into the library to see Gabriel talking on the phone and he couldn’t help but scowl at him. Gabriel was always in the library these days. This was supposed to be his sanctuary and Gabriel had just walked in and taken it over. He couldn’t even let Sam have one little thing. Sam glared at him as he walked over to the shelves. It looked like he would have to take a book back to his room to get any peace. As he walked he heard Gabriel’s side of the conversation. “This is really bad…no I don’t have any kind of a plan yet, but I am making progress…I know, Cassie…Just…just save as many as you can without popping up on his radar…I get it, but making a stand now would ruin everything…I just need to figure this out first…I’ll be as quick as I can…thanks Cassie and be careful.”

Sam started when Gabriel hung up the phone and grabbed the first book he saw and headed out of the library, all thought of reading completely gone out of his head now. He grabbed his computer and headed to the kitchen where Dean and Mary were still sitting. “What are you doing?” Dean asked curiously. Was he really looking for a new case already? They hadn’t even been home for a day. 

“I’m tracking Cas’ phone. There’s something big going down with Lucifer but Gabriel has him sitting on his hands and refuses to make a move,” Sam said. 

“How do you know that?” Dean asked warily. 

“I heard him on the phone. He was telling Cas to save as many people as he could while staying away,” Sam told him. 

“Damnit,” Dean said slapping his hand on the table. “We can’t just let god only knows how many people die just because Gabriel isn’t ready yet.” 

“Exactly. So we find out where Cas is, and thus where Lucifer is and we handle it,” Sam said firmly. 

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” Mary said nervously. 

“You should probably stay behind on this one anyway, Mom,” Dean told her knowing that Lucifer was a little over her head. 

“Like hell I will. If you boys are going then so am I,” she said. “I just don’t know that any of us should be going.”

“We have to, Mom. We can’t just sit here and let Lucifer wreak havoc on innocent people,” Sam tried to convince her. 

Mary took a deep breath before she nodded. She had a feeling they would all be going to their deaths but what else could she do? They obviously weren’t going to be persuaded and she would never forgive herself if something happened and she wasn’t there watching their backs. She was sure that whatever plan Gabriel was working on would happen with or without them. He wasn’t likely to want Sam anywhere near the fight anyway and if Lucifer DID kill Sam, then Gabriel would surely be after him for revenge just as much as he was after him to protect Sam now. The fact that he would have to go through both her and Dean to get to him gave her a little bit of comfort. She wouldn’t live without either of her boys, even if that meant throwing herself at the devil first. One thing was for sure though. This time, she wouldn’t be calling Gabriel if they got in over their heads. If he could do something now, then he would, and getting him killed too soon would kill the rest of the world along with him. 

Sam managed to track Cas’ phone to LA, and they geared up and headed out, not telling Gabriel where they were going. Let him think they were just on any old case. Once they got into LA, Sam started tracking Cas’ phone again and it led them right to a fancy hotel where they found Cas with Crowley of all people and remembered the first conversation with Cas that they overheard and realized that Crowley must be the ‘slimy worm’ that Gabriel had mentioned. “What are you doing here?” Cas asked suspiciously. 

Sam spoke up before anyone else could. He wasn’t going to LIE to Cas really. Just word things in such a way that he would think that they were there with Gabriel’s blessing. “We came to help you save as many people as we can,” he told him. 

“I see. Thank you. We will need all the help we can get,” Cas said relieved. Sam and Dean could at least get close without being sensed by him. 

“Yeah, so why don’t you tell us what you have and we can figure out where to go from here,” Dean suggested and Cas explained everything he knew so far and they set to start tracking down the venue for the show. 

They knew better than to try and take on Lucifer head-on. For one thing, Cas would never allow it. Not with Gabriel working on another plan and ordering him to keep his distance, so they just snuck in and set to trying to get the people out before Lucifer came out on stage, but no matter what they tried it didn’t work. Cas and Crowley were outside trying to keep people from coming in, but judging by the steady stream of people coming in, they weren’t having much more luck apparently. Finally, Lucifer came out on stage and they were out of time and options. Dean caused a scene pulling the attention of the bouncers and allowing Sam to pull the fire alarm, but Lucifer just waved a hand and turned it back off. 

Dean gulped as he pulled his gun and looked to his mother who just nodded at him. This was going to end badly but what else could they do? He shot up at the ceiling before hiding it away again and yelling about someone having a gun, made all the more real by Mary’s bloodcurdling scream and the three of them started herding people outside the door, Sam holding the doors open as long as he could against Lucifer’s powers. He didn’t keep them open long enough though and the three of them were trapped inside with Lucifer, who wasted no time taunting them. 

Dean pulled his angel blade, knowing it wouldn’t kill him, but hoping it would at least hurt him and charged at Lucifer, but the fallen archangel just raised a hand and tossed him to the side like he was nothing. The sickening crunch as he hit the wall was enough to galvanize both Mary and Sam into movement only to get them the same treatment. 

When the doors sealed behind the stampede and the hunters hadn’t come out, Cas started to panic. “Don’t worry feathers. I can get us in,” Crowley told him. 

“One moment,” Cas said pulling his phone to call Gabriel. As soon as the archangel answered, Cas just said, “Lucifer has the Winchesters. Going to help,” and hung up before nodding at Crowley who took his arm and teleported them into the room. Lucifer was distracted by beating them senseless when Gabriel arrived, but before he could get anyone out of there, he found himself being thrown into a wall as well. 

“Well well well. If it isn’t little Gabriel back from the dead,” he taunted. “And still acting as the Winchester’s guard dog I see.”

“Fuck off, Luci,” Gabriel snapped looking around to find some way out of this. Lucifer had already locked down his ability to fly out of here as soon as he saw who was here and since they were the only two angels with wings and the demon that could teleport was barely conscious, they were screwed. His only hope was to force Lucifer to burn through his vessel and they would have to start over again when it came to tracking him. He could tell that his hold on the vessel was weak at least. It shouldn’t take much. He threw out his hand and blasted Lucifer back, but he didn’t go far, using a good portion of his power to block Gabriel’s and the littlest archangel couldn’t help the smirk. That was exactly what he was hoping for. 

Lucifer didn’t just want to kill Gabriel again. No. He wanted to destroy him. There had to be a reason that he kept running to these humans’ rescue. He smirked right back at his brother and threw out a hand to pin him to the wall and send his blade flying across the room towards Cas and Crowley. He wouldn’t be able to hold Gabriel here for long, but he should be able to hold him long enough. He called his own blade and stalked towards the hunters just as Sam made it to his feet. He took a bit of his concentration away from his hold on Gabriel to pin Sam against the wall as well, but that turned out to be a mistake. Just as he raised his blade to kill Sam, Gabriel screamed, “NOO!” and broke his hold, flying in front of Sam just in time to take the blow for him. 

As the blade went through Gabriel’s chest Sam just choked out a denial, even as Cas managed to recover enough to retrieve Gabriel’s blade and charge at Lucifer with it. Lucifer, too, was standing there shocked until he sensed Cas’ approach and he turned so that the blade only scraped his side, but that was about all this vessel could take so he opened his mouth and fled the vessel before it’s weakness became his undoing.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam fell to his knees next to Gabriel and started pulling the archangel’s hands away from his wound frantically. “Sam…stop,” Gabriel gasped. 

“I’m just trying to help,” Sam said defensively. 

“I know…just…don’t,” Gabriel managed to get out. 

Cas explained what Gabriel didn’t have the strength to. “He’s trying to hold his grace in. He’s imbued his hands with enough of his power to do so.”

“I…I can’t…is there anything…anything we can do,” Sam asked trying to keep it together. Gabriel didn’t look like he would be conscious for much longer and Sam didn’t want to think about what would happen if he lost that fight. 

Cas nodded as he stepped forward and pressed his own hands over Gabriel’s. “I have you, brother. You can let go,” he told him and Gabriel just gave a weak nod and let his hands fall and turned to look at Sam as he lost consciousness. 

“How…how long can you hold it Cas? What do we do?” Sam asked anxiously just as Dean and Mary started to wake up. 

“I am trying to heal him as much as I can,” Cas said impatiently. 

“Will it be enough?” Sam asked. “Will he…will he survive?” 

“I don’t know,” Cas said bluntly. 

“Cas…” Sam said helplessly as Dean reached over and pulled Sam back. 

“Let him work, Sammy,” Dean said softly, when Sam nodded and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall, he asked, “What happened?”

“Gabriel came…he…Lucifer was winning and he…he was about to kill me…but Gabriel…he…he…” Sam couldn’t say anymore but the scene spoke for itself from there. Mary pulled herself over to him and put a comforting arm around Sam and rested her head on his shoulder. She almost said something, but bit her tongue before it came out. Now wasn’t the time. 

Sam was just trying to remember how to breathe. He couldn’t believe this was happening again. After Gabriel had died last time, it had taken months before he was able to use his hate as a shield against his feelings again and he felt those shields falling again now and the enormity of the situation was completely overwhelming him. This was all his fault. Again. It had been his idea to come here and confront Lucifer. He’d been the one who overheard Gabriel’s phone call and took it to Dean. And now Gabriel was lying here dying for him. Again. 

It was a few minutes before Cas collapsed as his hands pulled away from Gabriel’s wound and Sam got his first good look at it and nearly vomited. He was glad in that moment that he was so much taller than Gabriel. At least it had missed his heart by a few inches at Sam’s best guess. The gaping hole in the archangel’s chest didn’t make him feel any better though. Dean rushed to Cas’ side to check on him as Sam checked Gabriel’s pulse. “Is he…” Dean asked unable to complete the question. 

“I…don’t know…if I was able to do enough,” Cas gasped out before he too lost consciousness. 

“His pulse is weak, but it’s there,” Sam said worriedly. 

“We need to get out of here,” Mary said looking around nervously. 

“Right. Yeah,” Dean said pulling himself painfully to his feet as he realized he had at least a few busted ribs. “Mom, keep an eye on Gabriel for a minute. Give Cas’ healing a minute to set while we get Cas to the car and then we’ll come back for you and Gabriel.” 

Mary nodded and Sam pulled himself away from the archangel’s side and went over to lift Cas. He draped an arm over his shoulders as Dean did the same, wincing from the pain. They settled Cas in the backseat, sitting up and headed back to do the same for Gabriel, Mary hobbling along behind them. She too had a few busted ribs and messed up her leg pretty bad as well. She slid into the backset before they put Gabriel in so that she could be between the two unconscious angels and keep an eye on them. “What should we do about Crowley?” Dean asked. 

“What can we do?” Sam asked. “We don’t have any more room in the car, and we wouldn’t know who to call to help him. He’ll manage.”

Dean couldn’t argue with that and just shrugged as they drove off. They drove like mad back to the bunker and neither of the angels woke up at all during the whole day and a half. Dean and Sam switched out driving since Mary’s busted leg was her right one, so she wouldn’t have been able to manage and they only stopped for gas, taking restroom breaks at the same time. 

Once they got back, they decided to get Gabriel inside first. Despite spending the last few weeks in residence, Gabriel had yet to claim a room, so Sam had decided to put him in the room next to his own. At least until he was well again. IF he got well again. Unfortunately, they ran across Magda on the way to the bedrooms and she just gasped at the sight and burst into tears. Dean gave her a sympathetic look and told her, “It’s okay. He’s alive.” He couldn’t really say much more than that without giving her false hope. 

She followed them to the room and asked, “Will he…I mean…”

“We don’t know,” Dean said gently putting a hand on her shoulder. Sam really was better at this than he was, but Sam was still reeling over the situation. He’d barely said a word the whole way back even and was still just standing there staring at Gabriel in shock. 

“Maybe I could try…”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Dean interrupted her quickly and at the devastated look on her face explained, “I don’t think any of us know enough about angel physiology to be sure we wouldn’t make it worse. Maybe when Cas wakes up, we can ask him if there’s anything you could do.”

Magda nodded sadly before she turned and fled to her own room. Dean put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and pulled him back towards the door. They still had to go get Cas. Once they got Cas laying down, Sam wordlessly helped Dean and Mary patch up their injuries and they checked him for any injuries realizing that he wasn’t in any state to do it himself. After setting his dislocated shoulder and wrapping his sprained knee, Sam went back to Gabriel’s room and just sat there. 

Mary watched him walk out with worried eyes. “Do you think he’ll be okay?” 

“Who? Gabriel or Sam?” Dean asked wryly. 

“Both…either.”

“I would guess that one would depend on the other,” Dean said as he tried to figure out what exactly was going on here. If he didn’t know any better he would think that Sam cared about Gabriel, but that was ridiculous…wasn’t it?

Mary was thinking the same thing. “What…what’s going on with Sam. Do you know?” 

“Not really. I mean…there’s something about Gabriel that has him completely spun out right now, but I don’t get it,” Dean said confusedly before he decided that he might as well talk it out. Maybe it would help him wrap his head around it. “When we met Gabriel he and Sam were flirting pretty heavily and I thought there was something there but then he ended up being the trickster and Sam never said another word about him until Mystery Spot. That’s when he started hating him, but even then, it didn’t seem so bad. Nothing like now. Or…well…a few days ago anyway. Heck, the next time we saw him, Sam was all for talking to him and trying to get him to help and he was…relatively…pleasant about it. Then at the end of that whole encounter we found out he was an archangel and it was like a switch just flipped. He’d hated him after mystery spot but it became a burning rage kind of hate after that. I thought it might be an angel thing, but he’s good with Cas, so I don’t get it. After Gabriel died, it went on a low simmer for a while before it was back with a vengeance.”

“I wonder…” Mary said trailing off thoughtfully. “But no…that doesn’t make sense.”

“What are you wondering?” Dean asked. 

“What if he actually fell in love with Gabriel when they met and he’s been using that hatred to bury it, but why would it suddenly get worse after finding out he was an archangel instead of a monster. I would think it would get better…”

Dean smacked himself on the head as he realized. “No. It really wouldn’t. After the demon blood and sleeping with a demon, and starting the apocalypse, Sammy would think that he could never be worthy of an archangel. Between trying to bury his feelings and his anger and hatred at himself for having them in the first place…”

“But Gabriel…” Mary cut herself off before she spilled the archangel’s secret. “What are we going to do?”

“What can we do?” Dean asked with a shrug. “You know as well as I do that pushing Sammy on this will just have him shut us down completely and send him even deeper into denial. We just have to hope that Gabriel pulls through and if not…we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

She had meant about their feelings for each other just as much as how to help Sam through this current situation, but she let it go at that. She knew that Dean didn’t actually like him much either so she wasn’t going to say anything more on the subject, and his comment was even more true for that aspect of it, so he was still right. She just hoped that this situation knocked some sense into his head, and if nothing else, kept him from hating Gabriel anymore. At least then they would have a chance. She just knew they would be good for each other if they would actually give it a shot.


	12. Chapter 12

Just as Sam barely left Gabriel’s bedside, Dean barely left Cas’. At least he knew that Cas would live. He just couldn’t help but worry about him. The plus side of the situation was that Magda was interacting with them a little more. She was spending a lot of time with Mary, who was helping her come out of her shell. She came in a few times a day to check on Gabriel, always pressing a kiss to his forehead before she left, but she couldn’t bear to stay there. Mary kept them all fed and watered until Cas woke up a day later. 

“Gabriel,” Cas gasped as he woke up.

“Is alive, but very weak. He hasn’t woken up yet,” Dean told him placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting up too fast. “How are you?” 

“Drained,” Cas said bluntly. “I should be okay to try and heal him a little more in a few days.” If he makes it that long was understood but not said. 

“Just don’t push yourself too hard,” Dean told him. 

“I will be fine. Gabriel is our only hope against Lucifer. I must do everything I can to save him,” Cas told him. 

“Everything you REASONABLY can,” Dean amended, not seeing much point in trying to talk Cas into any less. “Losing you isn’t an option either. Period,” he said firmly. 

Cas just nodded. If the time came he would do what he needed to do but there was little point in arguing. He got up slowly, Dean hovering over him ready to catch him if he needed to, but wincing at the movement. “You are hurt as well,” Cas noticed. 

“I’ll be fine. It’s nothing life-threatening and like you said, Gabriel is our best shot. Keeping him alive is more important than a little pain.

Logically Cas couldn’t argue with that, but that didn’t make it any easier to see Dean in pain and not do anything about it. They headed out into the kitchen to find Mary and Magda sitting at the table deep in conversation. “Cas! You’re awake!” Mary said happily and pulled him into a hug, still limping on her busted ankle and Cas frowned. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it,” she told him when she realized what he was thinking. 

“Where is Sam?” Cas asked curiously. 

“With Gabriel,” Dean told him and Cas looked back towards the bedrooms worriedly. “Don’t worry. They’re fine,” he added. He couldn’t really blame Cas for being concerned, but they all rationally knew that even if Sam’s hatred for Gabriel were real, he would never hurt someone who was already down, especially when that someone got that way by saving his life. That wasn’t even counting the fact that Sam knew as much as the rest of them did that they needed Gabriel. No, Gabriel was plenty safe with Sam. 

It was a few more days before Gabriel took a turn for the worse and Cas, despite not having recovered as much as he would have liked, knelt at his brother’s beside and did as much as he could. By the time he collapsed again, he had managed to pull Gabriel back from the brink and a little more. Sam checked Gabriel’s pulse and it was much stronger than it had been even after Cas healed him the first time. It still wasn’t strong enough for comfort, but it was better than before. Dean sighed and motioned Sam to help him get Cas into his own bed, knowing that it would be a few days before he woke up again. 

By the time Sam got back to Gabriel’s room, the archangel was starting to stir. Sam, like Cas had before him, fell to his knees beside Gabriel’s bed. “Gabriel!” he said in a loud whisper. “Come on, Gabriel. Wake up. Please,” he said plaintively. If Gabriel could just wake up, he could believe that he might have a chance to pull through this. He didn’t know if he could face Gabriel’s death again. 

Gabriel finally creaked his eyes open with a groan and they immediately settled on Sam’s face. “S-Sam…what…how…I’m still…” 

“You’re still alive. You’ve been out for about a week. Cas was able to heal you enough to keep you alive, and just did a second round a little while ago. He’s down for the count, but he’ll recover,” Sam told him knowing what he was asking before he bit his lip and asked what he really needed to know. “Will…will you?” 

“What? Recover?” Gabriel asked with a cough followed by a low pained moan as he grabbed the wound on his chest. He did manage to see Sam’s nod though. “Maybe…probably…in time?...I don’t know.” He was having trouble focusing on anything and could feel the edges delirium trying to take him, but he was fighting it as much as he could. Of course, he could just think he was fighting it, but truthfully he didn’t care much. He just wanted to focus on the fact that Sam was actually there, talking to him kindly and looking at him without the burning hatred he usually showed. If that was the delirium than he wanted to stay in this one thank you very much. 

“Why…why did you…why would you…” Sam choked trying to get the words out. 

“Save you?” he asked trying to clarify what Sam was asking and the hunter nodded blinking back the tears that were threatening to escape. Later, Gabriel would blame the confusion on why he answered so honestly. “Would always…save you…no matter…what.”

“Why?” Sam said heart-brokenly. “I’m…I’m not…not worth it, Gabriel.”

“You are…you’re worth…everything,” Gabriel said as he drifted off again with a smile and Sam lost the battle with his tears. 

Mary came back to check on him and when she saw him kneeling next to Gabriel’s bed, holding his hand and the tears streaming down his face, she gasped. “He’s not…”

“No,” Sam quickly reassured her as he wiped his tears away. “He…he woke up…for a few minutes.”

“What did he say?” she asked wondering why the tears. 

“He said, he’ll probably live, but he doesn’t know if he’ll be recovered in time. I guess he meant in time to deal with Lucifer, but I’m not sure.”

When it was clear that nothing more was forthcoming, Mary decided not to push the issue. She knew there had to be more to it than that, but at least Sam was listening now. She would let things play out. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his temple. “You want some company?” she asked. 

“No. That’s okay. I just kinda…wanna be alone right now,” Sam told her. 

“Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind,” she said gently giving his shoulder one more squeeze before she left the room. 

The next time Gabriel woke up, Sam had been sleeping, but he heard the archangel start to stir and it snapped him awake and he once again, kneeled next to Gabriel’s bed. “Sam,” Gabriel mumbled even before his eyes creaked open. 

“I’m here, Gabriel,” Sam said softly. 

“M’sorry,” he slurred. 

“For what?” Sam asked confused. 

“Making you…take care of me.”

“Don’t. You don’t get to apologize for that. You nearly died saving my life,” Sam pointed out. 

“Still…you hate me…”

“I don’t get you, Gabriel,” Sam said with a frown. 

“Because…you don’t…want to…I’m not…that complicated,” he said weakly. 

“You MADE me hate you…you put me through hell, but then you keep saving me, even at the expense of your own life. How is that not complicated?” Sam asked impatiently. 

“Had to…save you…from Lilith…make you…hate me…instead of her,” Gabriel managed. “Didn’t work…m’sorry.”

Sam blinked in shock for a moment as he tried to wrap his head around that. Gabriel was willing to make Sam hate him to save him from Lilith. He was willing to sacrifice anything, even his own life to save Sam, even when he hated him. Sam blamed his next action on the fact that he’d barely slept in a week and had been on edge with shock and worry for all that time. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Gabriel’s. It was barely a brush and only lingered for a few seconds before he pulled back to see a blissful smile on Gabriel’s face. “If I’d known…delirium was…so nice…I’d have tried it…a long time ago,” he manged to get out before he drifted off again. 

Sam was cursing himself for doing something so stupid. It was just going to make it so much harder to go back now. If he even could go back now that he knew why Gabriel had done everything. It didn’t change the fact that he had no business caring for an archangel. If there was one small mercy, it was that Gabriel thought he was delirious. If he even remembered it, he wouldn’t think it was real.


	13. Chapter 13

Once he was sure that Gabriel was completely out again, Sam got back in the chair, intending to go back to sleep, but sleep was a long time coming. He just kept turning Gabriel’s words over in his mind and wondering what it meant. Wondering if it meant what he thought it meant; what some part of him hoped it meant, or if he was just reading too much into it. There could be some other reason he mattered so much to Gabriel. Some further destiny he didn’t know about. Some reason he couldn’t possibly fathom. There had to be. An archangel could never fall for someone like him. He couldn’t get the idea out of his mind though. 

The next time Gabriel woke up, he was completely delirious. His eyes kept daring around like he was hallucinating and he kept responding to things that Sam couldn’t hear. For all he knew it was angel radio, but the fact that Gabriel was responding out loud even if there was something to hear told Sam that he was out of it. Not to mention the heat radiating from his body. His hand reached up to swat at something that wasn’t there and he cried out in pain. 

Sam reached over and grabbed his arm, pressing it back down to his side. “Shh. It’s okay Gabriel. There’s nothing there. Just relax. There’s just you and me. That’s it.” He reached out and ran his other hand through Gabriel’s hair. 

Gabriel seemed to relax slightly at Sam’s words. “Just…just you…and me?” 

“That’s right. There’s just you and me here, now. Just ignore everything else you see,” Sam said gently. 

Gabriel flinched away from something before his eyes focused back on Sam. “Promise?” 

“I promise, Gabriel,” Sam assured him. “I won’t let anything hurt you.” He could see the fear in Gabriel’s eyes dim at that and it struck him just how much Gabriel must trust him to believe Sam over his own eyes and ears in such a state. “I’ll take care of you, Gabriel. Everything will be okay. I promise.” 

“Love…you…Sammy,” Gabriel said squeezing Sam’s hand that was in his. “Always.” He had drifted back off to sleep and missed the sharp breath that Sam sucked in when he’d said that. Did he mean it? Could he mean it? Was he even aware enough to lie? Sam needed to get out of there for a little bit. He felt like he was going crazy. He was sure Gabriel would be out for a while again, so he headed out to take a walk. 

It was still the middle of the night, but apparently he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep, because he found his mother sitting at the table reading through his father’s journal. “Mom?” 

“Sam! What’s wrong? Is everything ok?” she asked worriedly.

“I…I don’t know,” Sam said sounding just as lost as he felt.

Mary realized that it was a talking problem, not a doing problem, so she just said, “Why don’t you sit down and tell me about it.”

“I think…I think Gabriel is in love with me,” he said still trying to get over the shock of it. 

“Finally figured it out did you?” she asked gently with a knowing smile.

“You knew? He told you?” Sam asked surprised. 

“He didn’t have to tell me. He wasn’t exactly subtle about it. I did kinda ask him about it the first night you were back and he didn’t deny it, but I wasn’t completely positive until I asked him about the time when he killed Dean,” she told him. 

“What…what did he tell you about it?” Sam asked hopefully. 

Mary considered her response for a moment before she decided that Sam really did need to know, now that he was listening. “He said that he had to do whatever it took to try and save you from having to start the apocalypse. He knew that you would hate him forever, but that it would be worth it. He wanted you to get out all your rage and grief at him rather than be pushed into using it against Lilith.”

“That’s…that’s kinda what he told me too, but he was a little delirious, so I wasn’t sure…But…he can’t love me…I mean…I’m just…”

“You don’t EARN love, Sam,” Mary told him, reaching out a hand to put on his arm. “It’s something that just is. You can’t explain it and you can’t control it.”

“I just…I don’t know what to do with this,” Sam said putting his head in his hands. 

“What do you WANT to do with it?” she asked. 

“I can’t…he deserves so much better than me…”

Mary felt like she had to walk a fine line here. She didn’t want to accuse him of loving Gabriel too without him actually saying so, but she was pretty sure that he did. “And anyone who’s ever truly loved someone will say that they deserve better. That’s the nature of love. It means you never take it for granted. You always put the person you love on a pedestal in some way.”

“But it’s not just that I FEEL like he deserves better. He’s an archangel and I’m the boy with the demon blood. I started the apocalypse…”

“And he knows all that and loves you anyway,” Mary interrupted him. She was loving the chance to be a real Mom for once. 

“But why? How?” 

“That’s something you’ll have to ask him,” she told him. 

“What do you think I should do?” Sam asked hoping for an easy answer. 

“I think you should talk to him, and listen. Really listen this time.”

Sam considered that for a moment before it hit him. “Oh god…I’ve been so horrible…I’ve treated him like…like a monster.”

Mary couldn’t deny that. She WOULDN’T deny that, but she did say, “And he’s still here. Which means you have a chance to change that…if you want to.”

“I…I do want to. It’s just…how can he forgive me?”

“I think the fact that he’s lying in that bed right now means that he’s already forgiven you, Sam. You just have to figure out what you want and how you feel.”

“I…I l-love him,” Sam said aloud for the first time ever. “I…I always have…I just…”

“Then tell him,” Mary said squeezing his arm comfortingly. 

“I…don’t know if I can,” Sam said sadly. “But…but I’ll try.” He took a deep breath before looking up and smiling at her. “Thanks, Mom. I should probably get back in case he wakes up again. He was in pretty bad shape the last time he woke up.”

“Bad shape how?” she asked worriedly. 

“Hallucinating, babbling, not sure what was real. I was able to get him calmed down, but I don’t want him to have to wake up alone again.”

“Yeah. You’re right. He shouldn’t be alone. I can sit with him for a while if you need to take a break though,” she offered for what was probably the tenth time since this whole mess started. 

“No, it’s okay. I’ve got it,” Sam told her, just as he had every other time. “Thanks again, Mom,” Sam said getting up and pressing a kiss to her temple before he went back to Gabriel’s room to find that he was still asleep. Sam stood there watching him for a moment before he leaned over and kissed his forehead and climbed into his chair and was out like a light. 

He woke a few hours later to a light knock on the door. “Come in,” he said and the door opened to reveal his mother with a plate of food. 

“I brought you some breakfast,” she told him as she handed him the plate before looking over at Gabriel and placing a hand on his forehead to check for a fever. “Has he woken up again?”

“No. Not that I know of. His fever is down though. Do you know how Cas is?” 

“He’s still out too, but otherwise seems fine,” she told him. “I just checked on him before I came here.”

“Is Dean still with him?” Sam asked.

“Did you expect otherwise?” she asked with a chuckle. 

“Not really, no.” Sam shook his head wryly. Pulling Dean from Cas’ side when he was hurt was pretty much impossible. 

After Mary left, Sam ate his breakfast quickly before setting the plate aside and pulling the chair up closer to Gabriel’s bed. He reached out and held the archangel’s hand while the other one carded through his hair. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. For everything. But I’m here now. And I will be as long as you’ll let me,” he whispered.


	14. Chapter 14

It was another hour or so before Sam felt Gabriel’s hand squeeze his as he started to stir. Sam kicked the chair back and fell to his knees, still carding his other hand through Gabriel’s hair as he waited for him to wake fully. It was only a few more minutes before his eyes snapped open and immediately settled on Sam. “Sam?” he asked furrowing his brow in confusion. “What happened? How am I still…alive? Why are you…” he trailed off on that one, wanting to ask why Sam was being so nice to him, but decided at the last minute not to draw attention to it lest it stop. 

“You don’t remember the other times you woke up?” Sam asked. 

“Noooo,” Gabriel said drawing the word out as he tried to think. 

“That’s okay. We can go over it again. Cas managed to heal you enough to keep you alive before he collapsed, but you were still in pretty bad shape and when you took a turn for the worse almost a week later, Cas tried again and that did a little better. You’ve woken up a few times, and you said you would probably recover eventually, but implied it could be a while. You were…right weren’t you? You will recover?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“Yeah. If I’ve made it this far, I should be good, but it’s going to be a long road. I can have Cassie take me to my house for it once he’s up to it,” Gabriel offered, not wanting to put a burden on Sam. 

“No!” Sam said quickly. “I mean…he doesn’t have to. You shouldn’t have to be alone.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Gabriel said wryly. “And you shouldn’t have to take care of someone you hate,” he added, bringing up the subject trying to figure out what was going on here. 

“I don’t…hate you, I mean. I just…”

“Just what?” Gabriel asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“It’s kind of a long story. Do you think you feel up to hearing it? I mean, you haven’t really been awake for very long the other times you woke up.”

“I think I can manage,” Gabriel said rolling his eyes. If this long story would explain Sam’s strange behavior he wouldn’t let himself fall asleep until he understood. 

“Okay. It’s just…” Sam took a deep breath steeling his nerves. He had to do this. His Mom was right. Most importantly, if he didn’t, Gabriel might leave, and he didn’t think he could take that. Not now. “I…I forced myself to hate you because it was easier to bury everything else under that.”

“Bury what…”

Sam ignored the question and just kept talking. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to get it out if it stopped. “When I found out you were an archangel, I knew that I…I could never…I mean, you couldn’t…damnit.” Sam ran a hand through his hair. Why couldn’t he just say it? Maybe if he wasn’t looking at Gabriel. He got up and started pacing the room while he talked. “I…I was…the boy with the demon blood. I was Lucifer’s vessel. I started the apocalypse. How could I ever even begin to be worthy of an archangel?”

“Sam,” Gabriel said softly trying to interrupt, but Sam didn’t hear him. 

“I just…I couldn’t face that so I buried it. I buried every bit of love I ever had for you underneath all the hate I could muster and I just kept adding things to it, true or not. I always thought the worst of you because if I didn’t then everything else would hit me and I couldn’t deal with it…”

“SAM!” Gabriel said loudly before he winced and groaned, the amount of effort it took, sending a shooting pain through his shoulder. 

If the exclamation hadn’t gotten his attention, the pained groan would have and Sam spun and fell to his knees beside the bed again. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I’m so sorry. I should’ve…I don’t know. Done something differently.”

Gabriel was jumping for joy inside, but there were some things he still needed to understand before he could let himself relax into this new revelation. “Why now? It’s not like this is the first time I’ve sacrificed myself for you,” he pointed out. 

“I know,” Sam said with a pained look and turned to face the wall for a moment as he got himself together. “Last time though…Last time you weren’t here. I didn’t have to face you afterwards. It…it took a long time before I could pull up that hate again.”

“So now I get a nice you for a while until you manage it again?” Gabriel asked really hoping that wasn’t going to be the case. 

“No!” Sam protested. “No. I…I’m not…not going back. I just…”

“Then what changed?” Gabriel asked. He needed to know that he wasn’t going to have his heart ripped out before he would risk it. 

“I…I talked to Mom. She…she helped me…come to terms with things, I guess. I…I’m sorry Gabriel. Really.”

“Kiss me, Sam?” he asked, heart pounding in his chest. He would know then…he would be able to tell. 

Sam didn’t need to be told twice. That brush of their lips from yesterday had been haunting him ever since it happened and he desperately wanted more. He leaned over and pressed his lips to Gabriel’s and the archangel’s tongue darted out to deepen the kiss and Sam let him. He kept it short though, not wanting to tire Gabriel out. He could tell that he still had trouble keeping his breath for long. Gabriel whimpered a bit when Sam pulled away and Sam asked, “Are you okay?”

“Better than okay,” Gabriel said rather dazed before he shook the cobwebs out of his head and turned to look at Sam. He had a few things he needed to say now too. “You’re an idiot, you know.” The fond smile and lack of heat in the words had Sam’s reaction just being a blush as he looked away. “You think you’re not worthy of me, but I see it the other way around…You were supposed to be just like Lucifer…But you weren’t…Somehow, despite all the machinations of heaven and hell, you weren’t…You have no idea how special that is…Yeah. I’m an archangel…a pretty poor excuse for one…uh-uh, I’m not done yet,” he said as Sam seemed about to interrupt him. “I ran away from heaven and joined the pagans before I ran away from them too…I always run…and then I met you…and I found something worth fighting for…I knew…when I realized that there was no other way…I knew that you would hate me for Mystery Spot…I just…if I could save you…if I could keep you from carrying that guilt…from having to be Lucifer’s vessel…it would be worth it…I could handle being hated if it meant you were free and safe…but I failed…the most important job I ever set myself and I failed…I broke…I just…couldn’t see you like that anymore. I gave up…and it nearly destroyed you…I can’t…can’t forgive myself for that. You deserve…so much more,” Gabriel could feel his strength fading and he was cursing the timing. He needed to finish this. Needed a resolution here, but he just couldn’t keep his eyes open. “Sam…” he said weakly. 

“It’s okay, Gabriel. Rest. We’ll talk again when you wake up,” Sam told him, pressing a light kiss to his lips. He too wanted a resolution here, but not at the expense of Gabriel’s health. He needed his strength and Sam could use a little time to wrap his head around everything anyway. 

“Love you, Sammy,” Gabriel murmured almost inaudibly as he drifted off. 

“I-I love you, Gabriel,” Sam whispered back despite the fact that Gabriel likely wouldn’t hear it. He blinked back the tears that were prickling his eyes as he pressed another kiss to Gabriel’s forehead. “I love you,” he whispered again, hoping he would be able to get up the nerve to say it for real once Gabriel woke up again.


	15. Chapter 15

It was nearly dinnertime before Gabriel woke up again and Sam was right there waiting. “Sam,” he said sleepily as he opened his eyes.

“I’m right here, Gabriel,” Sam said gently squeezing Gabriel’s hand and brushing his other hand over the archangel’s cheek. 

“I wasn’t dreaming then?” he asked hopefully.

“No, Gabriel. You weren’t dreaming,” Sam said brushing his lips over Gabriel’s as if to emphasize the point. “How are you feeling?” 

“Oh, just peachy thanks,” Gabriel drawled rolling his eyes pulling a chuckle from Sam.

“Yeah. Stupid question huh?”

“Just a little.”

“Do you need anything? Or want anything?”

“I don’t need anything, but I wouldn’t say no to some hot chocolate.”

“I’ll be right back with some then,” Sam said getting to his feet and pressing a kiss to Gabriel’s forehead before he headed out. 

“Don’t forget a straw,” Gabriel reminded him. It wasn’t like Gabriel would be able to sit up and drink it after all. 

When he got to the kitchen he saw Dean and Cas sitting there with Mary and Magda. “How is he?” Magda asked. 

“He’s doing better. He’s awake and asking for hot chocolate,” Sam said with an amused smile. 

“Can I…”

“Go ahead. I’m sure he’d be glad to see you and you can keep him company until I get back,” Sam told her and she rushed from the room. 

“So something seems to have changed between you and Gabriel,” Dean said leadingly. 

“Yeah. I…um…Gabriel and I…”

“Hey, I get it. Thin line and all that,” Dean waved him off. His reaction alone was enough to tell the story. 

“Yeah, something like that,” Sam said with an embarrassed shrug.

“I believe I’ve missed something,” Cas said looking between them curiously. 

“I’ll explain later,” Dean whispered. 

“How are you feeling, Cas?” Sam asked trying to change the subject. 

“I am as well as can be expected. I will be weak for a few more days and I doubt I will be able to heal again for at least a few weeks, but I will be fine.”

“Good. That’s good. And Cas…thank you,” Sam said earnestly as he popped the mug in the microwave. 

“You do not need to thank me for saving my brother’s life,” Cas said confused. 

“I know…but still,” Sam said with a shrug as he grabbed the straw and pulled the mug out to take it back to Gabriel. 

“I will go with you,” Cas said pulling himself to his feet, Dean right there to help him and they followed Sam back to the room. 

Sam stopped in the doorway as he saw Magda kneeling next to the bed and Gabriel reaching up with his right hand to brush her tears away. “It’s okay kiddo. Don’t cry. I’ll be right as rain soon enough,” he said gently before he glanced up and saw Sam. “You can come in Sammy,” he told him with an encouraging smile that Sam returned as he set the mug on the side table. “And company,” he added as he noticed the rest of the crew. 

“How are you brother?” Cas asked concernedly. 

“I’ll live,” Gabriel told him. “Thanks to you.”

“No thanks are necessary,” Cas told him. 

“Necessary or not, I thank you anyway.”

“Then you are welcome,” Cas said with a nod. 

“Do you need anything else?” Mary asked. 

“No. I’m good. Thanks,” Gabriel told her and Sam could see that Gabriel was a little uncomfortable with all the hovering and he gave Dean a pointed look. 

“Well we should let you get some rest,” Dean said nudging Cas towards the door. 

“Of course,” Cas said and the rest of them trooped out, Gabriel giving Magda’s hand one more reassuring squeeze before he let go. 

Once they were gone, Sam took Magda’s place kneeling next to the bed and brought the hot chocolate over so Gabriel could sip at it. “Thank you, Sammy,” he said with a smile as he reached for the hunter’s free hand. His right arm was the only part of him he could move at all without it hurting, and even that he couldn’t move too much. 

“Anytime, Gabriel. Anything you need…or want…just say the word,” Sam told him sincerely. 

“Well another kiss would be nice.”

Sam just smiled and set the hot chocolate aside for a moment as he leaned over and did as he was asked. When Sam pulled back, sooner than he wanted to, but not wanting to take Gabriel’s breath away too much, he hesitated for a minute before he whispered, “I love you, Gabriel.”

Gabriel closed his eyes with a wistful smile and just drank in the moment and seared those words into his memory. “I love you, Sam,” he whispered back and was captured in another gentle kiss before the hot chocolate was back and Gabriel sipped it with a grin on his face. 

“So, do you know about how long your recovery might be?” Sam asked curiously, knowing that he would have a better idea than anyone else, even Cas.

“Not sure. I won’t be up to full strength for at least a few months, maybe longer. If things continue at their current pace, I should be able to sit up and move around in another week and get out of bed for short times in about two. Back to walking around normally, maybe a month,” Gabriel guessed. 

“Why…I mean…you can’t heal yourself or anything?” Sam asked. If Cas was able to heal him, then shouldn’t he be able to heal himself even better. 

“Not really. I mean, my grace is patching it up as best it can, but an archangel blade…it’s very resistant to healing. That’s why Cassie was barely able to even keep me alive. I’m healed enough now that my own grace is taking over, but it’ll just take time.”

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I shouldn’t have…have gone after Lucifer like that,” Sam said despondently. 

“No. You shouldn’t have,” Gabriel said firmly, but declined to make any further comment. Now that he had Sam he definitely wasn’t going to start an argument. Not yet, anyway. They could argue about it later. He did need to say, “Promise me you won’t do anything like that again. Please?” 

“I can’t promise I’ll never do anything stupid again, but I’ll try not to, and if I feel like I have to then I’ll talk to you first so you can try and talk me out of it,” Sam promised.

“Good enough,” Gabriel told him. “Just please don’t get yourself killed before I’m in a position to save you again.”

“I won’t. I promise. But I want you to promise me that you won’t do anything like this again. I…I couldn’t take it if you died for me again. Please Gabriel.”

“I can’t do that. I can promise you to try and be careful. I do have something to live for now, after all, but I swear to you Sammy, that as long as I draw breath, the only way you will die is peacefully in your bed of old age, and if I can manage it you won’t even have to do that.”

“I…how would you manage that?” Sam asked, not really wanting to cry in front of Gabriel by thinking too much on the earlier words. 

“If you were ever willing to bond with me, then you wouldn’t ever have to die,” Gabriel told him, not able to look at him. He knew that Sam wouldn’t be ready for that yet, but he couldn’t help but hope that someday…maybe.

“What does that mean? Bonding?”

“It’s basically like marriage except without the till death do you part thing. If one of us died, then the other would as well and we would share your heaven, but the only thing that could kill either of us is an archangel blade so dying wouldn’t be likely. It would bind your soul and my grace for eternity. I know it’s still too soon…”

“No, it’s not,” Sam interrupted. 

“Sam…It’s not a decision to be taken lightly,” Gabriel told him. 

“I know, and I’m not taking it lightly. I’ve loved you for ten years, whether I would admit it to myself or not. Denying it nearly destroyed me, but losing you now…that would finish the job. No question. I just…I don’t think I could go on without you. I need…I need to know that we can have forever. I need…you. In every way. I…if…if you want…I mean,” Sam suddenly lost his steam at the end and realized that he might be pushing something on Gabriel that he wasn’t ready for either. 

“Oh, Sammy. I’ve never wanted anything more. But it’ll have to wait until I’m at least up and around anyway, so do me a favor and take some time to think about it. Be really, absolutely sure. Because once it’s done it’s done. There’s no going back,” Gabriel said seriously. 

“Okay. I will think about it. But I doubt I’ll change my mind,” Sam told him confidently. 

“Just know that it’s okay if you do,” Gabriel said softly rubbing his thumb over the back of Sam’s hand. 

“I know,” Sam said softly. He noticed that Gabriel was having trouble keeping his eyes open again and gave him a short kiss. “Sleep Gabriel. I’ll be here. I love you.”

“Love you too, Sammy,” Gabriel said with a blissful smile as he drifted off again. 

Not ten minutes later there was a soft knock on the door and Mary came in with a plate of food. “He out again?” she asked as she looked over at him. 

“Yeah. He still can’t stay awake for very long,” Sam said worriedly. Despite the fact that Gabriel seemed so sure he would be okay, he couldn’t help but worry. 

“You two all worked out?” she asked hopefully. 

“Yeah. Yeah we are,” Sam said with a grin. 

“Good. I think you two are good for each other,” she said pressing a kiss to his temple before she turned to head out. 

“Thanks, Mom. I think so too,” Sam told her.


	16. Chapter 16

Over the course of the next week, Gabriel managed to stay awake for longer and longer. Long enough that he was starting to get really bored. Now that he was little more alert, the others stopped by at least once a day, but never stayed long. Gabriel still wasn’t exactly comfortable with other people being around while he was laid up. It would be better once he could sit up and talk to them, but he just felt so vulnerable and weak lying down. It was two days longer than the week he predicted before he felt like he could move around a little without making things worse. “Help me sit up, Sammy?” he asked. 

Sam grinned at him and moved to do just that. When Gabriel winced and hissed in pain though, he froze. “Gabriel? Are you okay? Should we lay you back down?”

“No, I’m good. It’s probably going to hurt for a while, but it won’t do any more damage,” Gabriel told him through gritted teeth. 

“Are you sure? I mean…maybe it should wait…”

“Please, Sammy. If I don’t at least sit up for a little while I’m going to go insane. I promise it won’t make things worse.”

“Okay. If you’re sure,” Sam said nervously and helped Gabriel up the rest of the way and slid him so he was leaning against the wall. He watched worriedly as Gabriel squirmed around a little bit looking for a good position, holding his arms out ready to catch him or assist as needed. When Gabriel finally stilled it took a few minutes before Sam could see the tension draining from his face and then he opened his eyes. 

“See? Right as rain,” he said with an encouraging smile. 

“Uh-huh. Right,” Sam said skeptically watching for any more signs of pain. 

“Come over here and sit with me,” Gabriel told him, hoping the hunter would take him up on it as he patted the bed next to him. 

Sam did so, but lowered himself gently, trying not to cause to much movement. It wouldn’t have mattered though because as soon as he sat, Gabriel curled up to his side and took a minute for the pain to fade again and Gabriel relaxed. Sam had slid his arm around Gabriel for support as soon as he moved, so he just shifted it slightly so that his hand was holding Gabriel’s side and his thumb rubbed soothing circles there. He leaned his head over to rest on top of Gabriel’s. “You good?” 

“I’m perfect,” Gabriel whispered as he just breathed in the scent of his hunter and enjoyed being wrapped up in his arms finally. 

“How did I ever get so lucky?” Sam breathed out.

“Well pulling your head out of your ass was a good start,” Gabriel suggested, mock-helpfully. 

Sam just laughed. “Yeah. That probably helped.” He paused a moment before he said, “I am sorry, Gabriel.”

“Uh-uh. No more apologies. It’s over and done with. You’re forgiven. Let’s just move on from here.”

Sam closed his eyes with relief. Gabriel hadn’t actually come out and said that he was forgiven before all this and those words alone were like a weight off his shoulders. He realized that it could go both ways too, and he wanted to make sure that Gabriel knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wasn’t holding any more grudges either. “Just so you know, I forgive you too. For mystery spot and everything else.”

Gabriel too felt the relief of that forgiveness wash over him and he tilted his head up and pressed a soft kiss to Sam’s neck. “Thank you, Sam.”

“No, Gabriel. Thank YOU.”

For the week after that, Gabriel spent most of the day sitting up, curled up next to Sam as the others came in and visited more and longer, now that Gabriel was more comfortable. He still needed to nap a couple times a day, but he was getting there until he finally felt ready to get up. He had been stuck in this bed for three and a half weeks, of course the first week and a half he wasn’t really conscious, but that wasn’t the point. He could get back to work on their Lucifer problem. Just the research of course. “Help me to the library, Sammykins?” he asked. 

“Are you sure you’re up to that?” Sam asked worriedly. 

“I’m sure. I’ll be fine. Once I’m there I promise I’ll sit. I need to get back to the books.”

Sam chewed his lip for a moment as he considered the matter. “Only if you promise to let me do any running. If you need another book you let me know and I’ll get it. Deal?” 

“You got a deal. Now get me out of this godforsaken bed, would you?” 

“Yeah, okay,” Sam said with a chuckle as he leaned over to support Gabriel as he got to his feet as he winced in pain. He wobbled a bit once he was up, but with Sam’s arm, he managed to steady himself. They shuffled slowly towards the library and by the time they got there, Gabriel had a new appreciation for the size of this place and sank gratefully into the padded chair that Sam led him to. He directed Sam what books to bring him and grabbed his notebook that was still on the table from before. “What exactly are you looking for? Maybe I can help,” Sam offered. 

“Well it’s like this. Locking Lucifer away again is impossible. Only my father can create something that can hold an archangel and the only one that currently exists can’t be opened again. Killing him is a possibility, but a very risky possibility. The chances of any of us coming out alive are not particularly high. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn’t exactly relish the idea of killing my own brother. What I’m looking for is some way to neutralize him. Something like stealing his grace or even just powering it down or blocking it. If we can make him human, that solves all of our problems.”

“But you still don’t want to kill him even if he is human?” Sam guessed, judging by his comment about killing his brother. 

“I say if we can make him human, we give him a chance. Let him live in peace if he chooses to, and if he makes too much trouble, we can help get him arrested and put behind bars. A different kind of cage, if you will.”

“I don’t like the idea of letting him go. I can’t see him living peacefully. But if it really means so much to you, we’ll give him a chance. As long as you do what’s necessary if it becomes so,” Sam compromised. 

“If I HAVE to kill him, then I will, but locking him away will always be my first choice,” Gabriel told him. 

“I can live with that. And I’ll help you sell it to the others too,” Sam told him knowing that would be a fight and a half, but willing to give Gabriel that leeway. He knew that Gabriel could easily handle a human if it came to it. As long as he was willing. If nothing else, if it came to it, Sam would gladly do it himself to save Gabriel from it. 

That became their new routine. They spent most of the day, between Gabriel’s naps, in the library and the evenings were spent just the two of them, curled up together on the bed. Gabriel had already talked Sam into moving a second bed into the room not long after he had woken up. If Sam wouldn’t leave then at least he would have someplace more comfortable to sleep than that chair. He wished he could have Sam in the bed with him, but until he was healed a little more, it was too risky. If Sam bumped him the wrong way or threw his arm over him the wrong way then it would hurt like a bitch. Gabriel was pretty sure that he was far enough along in his healing that it wouldn’t cause a major setback, but the pain alone wouldn’t be pleasant, nor would the guilt it was cause in Sam, at which point he wouldn’t sleep in the bed with him anymore anyway, so he might as well save him from it altogether. He was willing to lay down with him for a while when they were awake though and Gabriel lived for those times. 

Before long, Gabriel was down to only one nap per day, and was moving around mostly on his own. He was still slow and had to reach out a hand for Sam from time to time, but he was getting better. He had started working with Magda on controlling her powers again too and Sam took those opportunities to take a shower and change clothes and hang out with Mary and Dean. Cas was back on the road, hunting Lucifer again now that he was recovered. Both Gabriel and Dean had forbidden him from trying anymore to heal Gabriel. It would speed up the healing sure, but not by enough to be worth taking him out of commission for days or weeks again.


	17. Chapter 17

One day, as they were walking back to the library after lunch, Gabriel stumbled and almost fell, holding his head and wincing in pain, which only got worse when Sam had to catch him from falling and ended up pulling painfully against his still healing wound. Sam pulled him to the nearest chair and fell to his knees worriedly next to him. By the time Gabriel seemed recovered enough to speak, his phone was ringing. He knew who it was so he help up a hand to Sam, who realized he was saying that he would explain later. “Of course I felt it, Cassie…yeah, you’re definitely right about what it means…very very bad. There aren’t words for how bad this is…Do you have any idea yet who he’s wearing?...Seriously?! As if we didn’t need any more bad news…No it’s okay Cassie. It’s not your fault…yeah, see if you can’t figure that out, but same rules as last time. DO NOT get too close. Especially since I can’t bail you out if you get caught this time…be careful Cassie.”

“What’s going on? What’s bad and how bad?” Sam asked worriedly.

“Lucifer is a complete and utter moron,” Gabriel said rubbing his head wearily. “He decided to go and father a Nephilim. The celestial power surge when he was conceived likely knocked every angel in existence on their ass, and this is only the beginning.”

“Nephilim are children of angels and humans right? I know they’re forbidden, but maybe…”

“No. No maybe about anything. There is a very good reason they are forbidden. I’m sure you remember the affect a human soul has on angelic grace right?” 

“Gives it a huge power up,” Sam said as he began to get an idea of just how bad this could be. 

“Exactly. Now imagine angelic grace…the grace of an archangel at that…weaved around a human soul…a constant super amplification. Now realize that the mind would be completely human. Especially as a child. This child would have powers rivalling my father, perhaps even more than him, and no more control over it than any human child would. The last time a Nephilim was born, whole galaxies died. This child will be just as much a risk to Lucifer as it would be to anyone else. If he thinks he can control it, he’s delusional.”

“You’re not suggesting…killing a baby?” Sam asked wide-eyed. If Gabriel was right there wasn’t much choice, but the idea of doing it…it was sickening. 

“I don’t know. We try to find another way. Maybe whatever we find to humanize Lucifer we can tweak to work on the child as well, but if we can’t find a way…”

“This is a nightmare,” Sam said with a groan leaning his head on the table. 

“Tell me about it,” Gabriel said reaching over and tangling his fingers in Sam’s hair. He just needed some kind of contact right now. He needed his anchor. Sam apparently felt the same way because that action spurred him into movement and he was suddenly clinging to Gabriel, holding him as tightly as he could without hurting him. 

When they briefed Mary and Dean later, they had pretty much the same reaction, and Sam and Gabriel had even more help with their research. They weren’t exactly thrilled about the idea of letting Lucifer live as a human, but to save an innocent child they were totally on board. On the plus side, Sam and Gabriel were getting closer to a solution, but not close enough for comfort. 

 

A few days later, Cas was dragged into the presidential suite at the resort. Lucifer had to throw around some of his powers to make the secret service leave him alone with the seraph and once they were alone, he reached out a hand to heal him. He wanted his brother awake for this conversation. Once Cas woke up and looked at Lucifer with wide eyes, the devil just smirked at him. “Well well well. If it isn’t little Castiel. Still fighting the good fight even without Gabriel I see. You must realize how futile it is,” he taunted. “You really think you’re any match for me?”

“Gabriel isn’t dead,” Cas told him. He knew that it wasn’t a secret, and if it made Lucifer pause for a bit in his destructive activities that could only be a good thing. With any luck it would get him out of here too. 

Lucifer froze a moment at those words before he shook off any outward signs. Inwardly he was reeling. How could Gabriel not be dead? He had been so sure…he never would have fathered a child if he had known that threat was still out there. He had to think of a way to fix this. To at least keep them at bay. He would let nothing happen to his son. Perhaps a bargain of some sort. He reached into Castiel’s pockets and pulled out his cell phone, navigating to Gabriel’s number and pressing call. 

 

Sam and Gabriel were still pouring over the books while Dean and Mary were looking for new books in the stacks when Gabriel’s phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered. “Hey Cassie.” His eyes went wide for a moment before he hissed, “Lucifer. What have you done with Castiel?” He suddenly had the full attention of the whole room, Mary and Dean rushing back as well. He motioned them to be quiet and put the call on speaker and set it on the table. 

“Oh, he’s right here. Alive and well. Say hello to Gabriel, Castiel.”

“Gabriel, I’m sorry…” he managed to get out before he was cut off. 

“What do you want?” Gabriel hissed. 

“Here’s my offer. I will release Castiel in return for an oath from you that you will leave me and my son in peace from this day on. No assassination attempts, no setting people to follow me, no interference whatsoever.”

“I can’t do that, Luci. You know that,” Gabriel told him. “What would be the point of saving Cas now only for the whole world and everything in it to be destroyed a few months from now. You know what this child will be capable of. You know what he can and will do. You can’t honestly think you can control him?” 

“He is my SON,” Lucifer hissed. 

Gabriel narrowed his eyes and tilted his head curiously. He’d heard something in Lucifer’s voice there. Something he had never heard from his errant brother before. Something he could possibly work with. “I can save him,” Gabriel told him. 

“I can protect him just fine,” Lucifer snapped. 

“No. You can’t. You might be able to protect him from heaven. You might even be able to protect him from me, but who’s going to protect him from himself. You remember the last time a Nephilim was born. We lost three of our brothers…archangel’s like us…we won’t be immune to his power, along with galaxies of worlds, and the Nephilim himself died in the explosion as well.”

“The parents were reckless. They weren’t paying enough attention,” Lucifer said confidently. 

“I think you know better than that,” Gabriel told him. “Even if you were right, all it will take is one second of inattention for all of us, him included, to be destroyed. I’m offering you a way to save him. To save everyone.”

“How?” Lucifer snapped. 

“Here’s MY offer. You let Cassie go. You take back your old vessel, and give up your grace, and I will extract the grace from your son. You and he can live your lives as humans in peace,” Gabriel said firmly, hoping that Lucifer would take it. He had no other plays right now. He couldn’t even access his grace yet. It was all going towards healing and maintaining his vessel. Taking on Lucifer to get Cassie back was out of the question. As was offering his oath to leave them in peace. 

“You expect us to live out short insignificant lives as humans?” Lucifer snarled. 

“It is your only option to live at all, and when you die, as humans, you can both go to heaven, assuming you change your ways. I can make sure you have enough money and resources to live comfortable luxurious lives, and I will see to it that he is kept safe, and that I WILL give you an oath on.”

“Just him? Not me?” Lucifer noticed the discrepancy. 

“You will have your chance to live in peace, but if you continue trying to destroy the world even as a human, I will take you down. He is an innocent. I will ensure his safety no matter what happens with you,” Gabriel told him. “That is my final offer.”


	18. Chapter 18

Lucifer was quiet for a long time, before he said, “I will release Castiel, and I will consider your offer,” he said before the line went dead.

“What the hell was all that? Offering him money and protection and crap? Letting him keep the kid?” Dean asked. 

“You would rather I let him kill Cassie? Because we all know what would happen if I had made that oath, and he would have accepted nothing less than a BINDING oath. Not a simple promise I could go back on later. Once I realized that his main motivation was to protect his son, I had a bargaining chip and I used it as best I could, and it worked. He’s letting Cassie go,” Gabriel said pointedly. 

“So, the rest of the offer was just…what…bluffing?” Dean asked. 

“Not at all. If he takes me up on it I will live up to what I promised. Notice I said that I would swear an oath to protect the child…That means from Lucifer too. If he harms his son in any way, I will be perfectly free to move against him,” Gabriel told him. 

“That doesn’t mean he can’t mess the kid up anyway without actually harming him,” Dean pointed out, thinking about his own childhood as well. 

“Just as any human parent has that ability,” Gabriel pointed out. “He is the father. He has a right to raise the child as he sees fit, regardless of whether we agree with it or not. I will keep him from crossing the line, but if it gets us out of this without a fight that one or all of us could easily die in, then I will make that compromise.”

“Gabriel’s right,” Sam made his first foray into the conversation. “I don’t like it either, but if he actually takes us up on the offer, it’s the best out we have. We have to give him something to make it worthwhile to him.”

 

Lucifer transported Castiel back to his truck before pacing the room as he considered Gabriel’s offer. It was a lot to give up, but it was also a lot to gain. The second he realized he was going to be a father, everything changed. Gabriel was right that he knew better. Perhaps, if he had all the time and concentration he needed, he could keep the child and his powers under control, but he knew that heaven wouldn’t stop coming after them. They would be a constant distraction. Unless, of course, he leveled heaven to the ground and killed every last angel. He would have to kill Gabriel too, and he wasn’t a hundred percent certain that was a fight he could win. Not while protecting his son at the same time. 

If he took Gabriel up on his offer though…They could be safe and well-taken care of. Sure, they wouldn’t live so long, but if he gave up his grace…if he became fully human…he would have a soul. An untainted soul and at the end of the human life he could go home. And actually be accepted. Welcomed, even. He would be just another human soul for his brothers to care for. He and his son could live eternally in heaven. If, as Gabriel said, he changed his ways. If he could avoid tainting his new soul. Was revenge really worth it if he could have back some approximation of what he’d lost by giving it up? The idea was certainly enticing. Still, something this big needed more than a few minutes thought. 

Lucifer spent the next few days ruminating on the idea before he decided that it might just be worth it. There would be some negotiation on the details, but on the surface, he would take it. He had kept Castiel’s phone when he released him so he took it out to call Gabriel again. 

 

Sam and Gabriel were alone when Gabriel’s phone rang, and he pulled it out to take a look at it. Cas had just gotten back yesterday, without his phone, so there was no question of who was calling. Gabriel took a deep breath and answered, putting it on speakerphone so Sam could hear as well. “Hello, Lucifer.”

“Gabriel. I wish to discuss your offer more in depth.”

“I have told you what I can offer. If you want to work out an agreement on the details, I’ll need some sign of good faith from you,” Gabriel replied. 

“What kind of sign?” Lucifer asked suspiciously. 

“You take back your old vessel and extract your grace. You bring it to us at a meeting point of our choosing. Then we can all sit down and discuss it,” Gabriel told him. He would have to meet with Lucifer at a certain point of this negotiation anyway and there was no way he was going to do it while he was so weak and Lucifer was fully powered. He was the only real threat to Lucifer and his big brother knew it to. If he could get out of it all by taking out Gabriel, he doubted there would be much hesitation. 

“And what guarantee would I have that you would not kill me on the spot?” Lucifer asked. 

“The fact that we aren’t asking you to bring the mother of your son with you,” Gabriel told him. “You may keep them hidden in a location known only to you, and you won’t have to tell us where they are until you have my binding oath to keep to the final agreement.”

“And should we not be able to come to a final agreement?” Lucifer asked. 

“Then you will walk out, grace in hand, to take it back and we will meet on the battlefield at which time we will take either your life or your grace, as well as your son,” Gabriel told him. 

“Very well. I will abide by your terms,” Lucifer told him. 

“Then meet us at The Bluebird Café in Lebanon, Kansas at five PM tomorrow evening,” Gabriel told him. “If we sense you still powered up, the meeting is off. If not, Cassie will arrive first to retrieve your grace from you, and then Sam Winchester and I will join you.” Lucifer, along with most of the rest of the world, knew that they were based out of Lebanon, so they weren’t spilling any beans there. 

“Why are you bringing him?” Lucifer asked suspiciously. 

“Because the hunters want some representation at this meeting and he is the one least likely to kill you for simply existing. You have my word that he will not harm you without provocation.” He wasn’t about to tell Lucifer that he still had trouble getting around on his own and was weak enough that he would need Sam’s help. 

“Very well, but I warn you Gabriel…if this is a trick…I am not without friends, even now,” Lucifer warned. 

“I assure you Luci, you will walk out of that meeting alive, whether we come to an agreement or not.”

“I WILL hold you to that, Gabriel,” Lucifer said warningly as he hung up and went to give very difficult explanations to Kelly Kline. 

“What happens if we don’t find a way to separate the grace from the baby?” Sam asked worriedly. 

“We have to,” Gabriel told him. “I will try to work in some wording in the oath to give us some leeway in case we can’t but I don’t know if I’ll be able to slip it past him.”

Sam just nodded determinedly. They WOULD find a way. No matter what. The next day, everything seemed to start well. Cas was watching outside the café and Sam and Gabriel got the call that Lucifer had shown in his Nick vessel and had handed over his grace, so Sam and Gabriel, already waiting in the car, drove out of the bunker. They would be there in ten minutes, but they didn’t want to risk bringing Gabriel outside the wards where he could be sensed in his condition until they were sure that Lucifer was powered down. 

By the time they arrived, Lucifer was cranky and impatient and narrowed his eyes dangerously when he saw Sam helping Gabriel to walk in. “Looks like you’re a little worse for wear there little brother,” he drawled, annoyed that he had let them talk him into giving up his grace already. It would be easy to take him out now if he had it. 

“Yeah, a blade to the chest will do that. But, yet again, you missed my heart. You should work on your aim there, big brother,” Gabriel snarked back. 

“I was never aiming for your heart. This time I was aiming for Sam’s. Last time I just wanted you to suffer before you died,” he said with a sneer. 

“Sam…” Gabriel said warningly putting his arm in front of him before Sam broke his word and killed Lucifer where he sat. “As fun as all this banter is, I believe we are here for a reason.”

“Very well. You mentioned extracting the grace from my son. How?” 

“We are still working on the how, but we are close to a solution,” Gabriel told him.

“What kind of solution?” Lucifer pressed for more information. 

“All you need to know is that it won’t harm him,” Gabriel told him, not willing to give up their secrets. Especially not one that could be tweaked to work against him. 

Lucifer figured that would be a long shot, but he had to try. “Fine. You said something about making sure we were able to live comfortable luxurious lives?” 

“I have been on Earth a very long time. I have amassed a great fortune and many different homes. You can pick one for you and your son to live in and I will provide you with more than enough money to live well.”

“And until you are able to extract his grace?”

“He and the mother will reside with us,” Gabriel told him. 

“Only if I am there with them as well,” Lucifer said raising an eyebrow wondering if his brother would go that far. 

“As long as it is understood that any actions against the inhabitants or any other humans will be against our agreement and we will be free to take any action necessary,” Gabriel reluctantly agreed. 

“Let me see the wording of the oath you intend to give,” Lucifer said, seeing no problems so far and Gabriel slid a paper across the table to him. 

Lucifer read it before narrowing his eyes and asking for a pen. He crossed out part and rewrote another part and slid it back. Gabriel scoffed and made his own changes again and Lucifer finally accepted it. “I, Archangel Gabriel, by my grace and my life, that I will ensure that the son of Lucifer comes to no harm, physical, mental, or emotional, for as long as he remains an innocent. I will further provide him with money and a home to live as previously agreed, and will not remove him from his father’s care unless his father proves a danger to him or others. So I swear.”

Lucifer nodded, knowing that the oath took despite not being able to see it, and slid a paper across the table with an address. He handed it to Cas who headed out to retrieve the woman and child and the three of them headed back to the bunker. 

It took another month for them to find the way to remove the baby’s grace, but none of them liked it at all. It would cause a great deal of harm and weakness in the mother, even after all the tweaking they could do. Not enough to kill her, but enough to mean that there was a chance that she wouldn’t survive childbirth. Of course, birthing a Nephilim is always fatal so this was her only chance, but that didn’t mean they liked it. She did agree to it though so they got to work. Thankfully Gabriel was able to use enough of his grace to assist in the extraction and Cas was able to make up for any deficit. 

By the time they got them out of there, with a human Lucifer and a human embryo, they were all completely on edge. Lucifer kept to their agreement and didn’t harm anyone, but that didn’t mean that he was easy to live with. Lucifer had chosen a large mansion in South America to live in and Gabriel transferred a few million dollars into a bank account for him to access and they had them on the next plane out, but only after Gabriel placed a monitor on Lucifer and he would pop by after the baby was born and place one on him as well. 

Sam and Gabriel bonded the moment Gabriel had full use of his grace again which was about a month after Lucifer and family had left, and Magda went off to Jodi’s about the same time, having full control of her powers now, but Gabriel was a regular visitor. He really could have let her go sooner, but he wanted to wait until he had full use of his grace back for that too so that he could visit easier and bail her out if she got into any trouble. 

When Gabriel went to put the monitor on the baby, he learned that Kelly had died in childbirth, as they had been afraid they would, but Lucifer seemed to be taking well to parenthood. He didn’t become a nice guy by any means, but he doted on his son and didn’t cross any lines, so Gabriel just kept a close eye on things. Due to the monitor on the child he was notified every time he skinned his knee or got a papercut, but it was better to be thorough than it was to miss something, so he dealt with it.


End file.
